Ride On

Chapter I: I'm a Loser

This story is dedicated to my best friend who gave me the biggest support I could ask for. 

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Waking up was hard. Everything hurt. My muscles were sore and my stomach churned for no reason. I made a half-arsed effort to check the clock. The numbers were blurry.

Five fifty five. 

Typical. No matter what time I fell asleep I woke up at ungodly hours. No matter the kind of day, no matter how many sleeping pills.

I lay awake in bed for a good three hours. Nothing else to do. There wasn't much light to read by yet, none of the good television shows were scheduled, and I felt too sick to eat breakfast.

Routine.

Finally at nine thirty I felt decent enough to crawl out of the pig sty I dared call a bed. Covered in books, papers, blankets, food crumbs and me, not to mention I hadn't bothered to wash the sheets in months. I pulled the duvet back in its place and called it good then headed to the bathroom to wash up. By washing up I mean brushing my teeth. I had only just gotten the hang of doing it properly after years of the crooked bastards making it difficult and then braces saving my arse.

I looked cute today.

After putting on an adequate coat of sunscreen on my face I went back into my room to dress. I wanted to wear my favorite mini skirt with the ruching but I couldn't face Mum if I did. I'm sure Dad would catch wind and I'd get called a street whore.

I wore it anyway. 

I had shaved my legs a week ago and nothing had grown back enough for Mum to comment on. I wore my leopard crop top too and grabbed a leather jacket for maximum effect. Dressing better made me feel better. 

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"You look nice."

I drank a bit of Irish breakfast. "Thank you."

Mum had a huge pile of bread dough on the cutting board. Two pots of whatever were cooking on the stove and the oven housed a tray of bacon.

I just drank tea for breakfast. 

"Do you want to go to the beach with us this Saturday?"

My stomach churned at the thought. I loved the beach, I loved the quiet atmosphere and I loved the water. Fancy that, getting sick on a dime.

"Not really."

"It would be good for you to get out of the house."

"Who's all coming?"

Mum turned her attention to the pots on the stove. "Your siblings and your grandmother."

Suddenly my nausea worsened. My tea looked appalling. "I don't know..."

She just looked at me. "You never want to go anywhere. All you do is stay at home."

I didn't answer.

"Don't you ever get bored being here all day?"

Actually...I didn't.

I had stacks of books to read, I always bought the best foods from the store to eat, I owned a proud collection of records, and my best friend was only a phone call away.

But I did love the beach...

"I'll think about it."

Mum sighed. "Okay."

I didn't finish my tea.