Ride On

Chapter XLIV: You Really Got A Hold On Me

Americans remember the Fourth of July because that's the day independence was approved for the original thirteen colonies. 

I remember that day because my father humiliated me in front of my family and called me a big baby when I cried.

The axe forgets but the tree remembers. 

I know it's wrong to hold grudges. Forgive and forget, right?

I just wish the memory didn't hurt so bad. 

"Ya' doin' okay?" Angus asked me while he fixed his tie. We were backstage before the show, just as Angus promised. It was much quieter back here and I didn't even need to use my headphones. 

At least, not yet. 

I looked up to see him looking at me. He seemed...genuinely concerned. I mustered my best smile. "I'm fine."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah," I nodded. He didn't seem convinced. I sat up as straight as I could even though it hurt. I maintained eye contact with anyone who looked at me no matter how painful. And I refused to let anyone see me cry.

No matter what.

Phil was finishing up taping his fingers and Cliff was already armed with his bass. Bon and Malcolm were talking to someone who had been setting up equipment for over an hour. Angus talked with him too and a few various fans before making his way over to me. He stood in front of me fixing the cuffs on his sleeves. I looked at him quickly before looking at my lap.

I was still very shy. 

He knelt down to meet my gaze and flashed me his teeth. I laughed a little and that seemed to appease his worry. "Doin' anything tonight?" he asked quietly. 

My stomach twisted itself into a knot and my hands felt clammy. 

"N-no, I'm not," I answered. 

He looked around the room for a minute and folded his hands together. "Well....the boys are all off doin' other things tonight, Mal bought himself some fireworks an' he an' Phil are goin' somewhere to light 'em off...the spirit of the holiday, ya' know. Cliff...dunno an' Bon is off bein' Bon, so...that leaves you and I unless you wanted to chat with the other ladies?"

I considered hanging out with all the women. I didn't think they'd miss my company if I bailed just this once. 

"No, I think I'll pass tonight," I said. Angus rubbed his hands together and took a deep breath. 

"Well. Then....did you wanna have dinner in our room? There's room service or....we can jus' make whatever we find in the drawers or somethin'. Maybe a live rat."

I smiled and looked down at my shoes. How could I say no to such a romantic gesture?

Rat and all?

"Sure," I said. He smiled too and looked down at his shoes. 

"Alright, time to go, get your stuff an' get on," a man shouted alerting the band to get to work. He was big and tall and very serious looking. 

Except for his comb over. 

"Alright, I'll see you after the show, yeah?" Angus stood up to leave, but not before kissing me on the cheek.

I felt lightheaded. I needed to sit down.

....I was already sitting down.

I looked around the room to see if anyone noticed how flustered I was when I saw Cathy and Linda both looking at me with cheeky little smiles on their cheeky little faces. Beth was fixing an earring of hers that had broken but surely she knew the shit.