Ride On

Chapter LI: Overdose

"Ten minutes."

"Just enough time for a drink," Bon said grabbing a Coke from the Esky. We were backstage for the band's next show. I actually showed up this time, of course hopped up on a Dramamine and Benadryl. I managed without a painkiller so far but I brought some just in case. Luckily my cycle this month wasn't too bad. 

I was sitting on a couch with Linda while Malcolm and Angus had taken a couple of chairs to a corner and played together. Beth had lit a joint and smoked it by the table covered in cups and food. Bon stood next to her with his Coke. Phil was putting tape on his fingers while Cathy talked with a few women moving some equipment from here to there. Cliff talked too with a few friends they invited. 

I sat very quietly. 

Linda didn't seem to mind the poor company. She brought along a magazine and a cabbage sandwich. 

I brought along my stuffed bear.

He was brutally shoved in my bag with my headphones, books, drugs, and teabag avalanche. But since he was stuffed, I don't think he cared. 

I decided to wear my bell bottom jeans with my black boots otherwise I would have been tripping every two feet. The sun had chased away the rain and with it came warmer temperatures. I wore my white crop top again under a green sweater. It had seemed like a good idea that morning but now....

I didn't really care. 

Stacks of papers were back in the hotel room with crude drafts of would-be novels if I hadn't been so unmotivated. Angus wanted to read some of it and I reluctantly let him. He didn't say anything negative about it but I could see he was struggling for a compliment. Anybody would be hard pressed when met with a blank sheet of paper. I intended to continue writing when we got back but....

I didn't really care. 

I felt sad.

And I didn't know why. 

**********

"You sure you're okay?"

I'm fine. Everything is fine. "Yeah," I said. My eyes welled up. I fought hard to contain it. 

"You wanna talk or somethin' after the show?" I shrugged. He put his hand under my chin so I'd look at him. "I'm jus' worried about you..."

"Alright, time to go." Angus turned around at the voice and stood up from here he knelt on the floor. 

"I'll see you soon," he said taking my hand and giving it a squeeze. I watched him leave with the rest of the band. 

I needed to make a phone call.

**********

There was one phone in the hallway. Tracking down my friend's phone was something else, and eventually I just gave up. I'm sure she was raging mad at me for not calling her at all lately. I could name a million and two excuses but the fault was all my own. I called again and asked for my house, sending the long distance bill to the hotel. Nervous, I wrapped the cord around my finger until it hurt and let it go again. 

Some fucking friend you are.

Can't even give your mate a ring?

Your parents will be furious with you. 

Don't fucking cry, you wimp. This is all your fault anyway.

Mum picked up. 

I said hello. She asked me where I was. She wanted to ask me where the bloody fucking hell I was.