Diamond: The Promise

Chapter 57 "I'm dying to let you know"

~Ethan~

19/5/24

Iria ended. Not her, she will be eternal. The smiles came back to curve her lips and reach her eyes. The lump in her stomach dissolved and now she eats. The impulsive decisions are again part of her and she's the fearless girl she was so proud of, I'm proud of her too. It's only a matter of time before those other parts of her that she missed come back too.

I want to be there, I want to celebrate with her that her eyes shine again but I need her to know that if I'm not, it's because I already saw them shine. Maybe not of power but of happiness, it might not be full just yet but with time it will be.

I need her to know that I loved her, I loved her too much to love her and that, that one time when between alcohol and a cigarette to share between the two of us she asked me how could I still be her friend after she stopped being the girl I met, I wanted to give her a developed explanation than the one I could let out. So I'll continue where I left it that night.

I fell in love with her soul, we are soulmates after all, I just want to add that I loved her. I loved being her friend when no one had discovered yet how and amazing she was. I loved to encouraged her to get on the cafeteria table with me between a food fight and assure her I was the life of the party, I guess parties ended too. I loved to buy her that first ice cream and promise her I will be much more of a bad influence than putting sugar in her mouth. I loved to burn her pink clothes when that asshole broke her heart. I loved going shopping with her when she decided the perfect good girl clothes style didn't fit her anymore. I loved letting her taste all my drinks until she found the mixture of alcohols she liked. I loved being her partner in crime. I loved making lists with her, about the plan to get her some time alone with her crush or about prom dresses and, even if we drifted apart, I loved living London by her side.

I loved many things about her, these last couple of months discovering how happened something we never gave the chance to take place between them. I loved her soul, that's the only answer I can give. I do love Iria, I love her good and innocent, I love her bad and reckless and I love her unaware of the power she has, she will always be the girl with the most beautiful eyes in the world... With or without magic shine. I love her so much that it could just be platonic.

I didn't want to see it. I didn't want this thing we were giving a half chance to experience to end but then I realized that if it didn't end, one day I would look her in the eyes and change my mind and it wasn't what I wanted.

I just need her to understand it, she was the one who said it, it's no fair. I have always hated my fate; My father the alcoholic, I didn't want to end as lonely as him. My mother the suicidal, I didn't want to be a coward too. It scared me, that someone could think about me as the poor boy who didn't try it hard enough, God knows that I did. I'm just... what you could expect being my parents' son.

Once upon a time there were my parents, who once truly loved each other, once they were full of dreams and plans for the future. Once upon a time there was a drug addicted girl who fell in love with the Italian exchange student on her senior year. Once upon a time there was an athlete who helped the girl he loved to escape from her addiction using nothing more and nothing less than God's help. Once upon a time there was a redeemed drug addict who curried favor with her wealthy family with hundreds of future plans for her new life and family. Once upon a time there was an athlete up to give up his future as professional sportsman to become a father.

The tale ends there, because once upon a time there a baby, a baby who didn't ask to be born cursed but whose curse cost his mother's life and his father's affection.

It's a very different tale from now on... I think it's better this way, I can't imagine my childhood without money being a problem or dressing up every Sunday to go to church. It happened as it had to happen, then the once upon a time there was a happy kid turned into once upon a time there was a kid who, hidden from his father in the wardrobe, wished he could go anywhere else in the world, bad luck for him that his wishes came true when he turned eight.