Breaking the shadows

Final school year

1998

Tuesday September 15th 

We have been back at Hogwarts for two weeks, and I can already feel the stress from the final exams, so I sit in the library every afternoon for two hours and studying with Ginny, Neville and Luna. Hermione joins us sometimes but she'd rather sit in our shared dormroom with all her knowledge and study herself, which is fine. Today I study alone as Hermione is in our room, Ginny has quidditch practise, and Neville and Luna decided to go on a spontanious date. 

So as I sit in the library fully concentrated on my homework and studies, I sense someone approaching  me, as I look up I see a dark haired girl and it takes me a minute to regionize her. 

"Quinn, sit down, what's on your mind?"

Quinn: "I have a pretty important question, and I don't know if this is the best time, I see you are busy."

"No sit down, ask away."

Quinn takes a deep breath and says quietly: "How did you know you were into girls?"

A bit startled by her question I answer her hesitantly: "I think I just knew."

Quinn: "This was dumb, I'll leave."

Quinn rises from the seat, but I stop her, I want to know where this is headed.

"Quinn stop, my answer was stupid, let's go somewhere a bit more private where we can speak freely."

Quinn nods, and I pack my school work together, I lead Quinn to the corner of the library where two book sheleves standing close to each other forming a secret hideout.

We help each other move one of the book shelves and sit down in the very corner of the room.

"Okay Quinn, how did I know I was into girls?" I pause "Yes I kind of just knew, but it took me a long time, at first I was very confused, because I fell for my best friend, and when Ginny asked me to make a practise kiss with her, which was also my first kiss, I doubted my self so much, mostly because I have a few friends, but I felt different around Ginny than I did with Luna and Neville."

Quinn: "So a practise kiss was all it took for you to realise?"

"Uhm not really, I had wondered about why I felt different around Ginny, but it was after the kiss that made me realise that I was in love with her, it was all my thoughts about her, and how I constantly thought of what we could do when we were together, and mostly the jealousy, I was so jealous on Harry, when he had Ginny for him self I just couldnt be in myself."

Quinn: "Okay thank you."

"Do you have anyone in mind?"

Quinn: "You know Nora."

"Yeah I know her pretty well."

Quinn: "I've felt like I've had butterflies in my stomach ever since she kissed me on the forehead."

"So you might be in love with her?"

Quinn: "I think so, but how do I tell her?"

"Write a note, and meet with her someplace only you two know about, and tell her then. Just tell her how you feel."

Quinn: "Thank you so much. I actually have a thing more."

"Yeah of course, ask anything."

Quinn: "This isnt really a question more like a information."

"Okay, come with it."

Quinn: "You know Quinn is short for Quincy right?"

"I did not know that, but go on."

Quinn: "I've never felt like a girl or a boy, so when I started at Hogwarts I made everybody call me Quinn as I know it's the genderneutral form. And as I don't feel like a girl it would be awesome if everybody stopped calling me she and her."

"Okay? What should we call you instead?"

Quinn: "I've searched a little and I think I'm most comfortable with they/them, if thats okay?"

"Of course it's okay, not everyone will understand though."

Quinn: "I know, but I need someone to understand."

"I'm really sorry for misgendering you all these years."

Quinn: "You had no chance of knowing."

Quinn hugs me and whispers: "Thank you, for everything."

--

As Quinn left I felt proud of myself to be a person that people can come to and help them.

I look at the clock and see that Ginny might be done with Quidditch practise by now, so I get up from the floor and gather my things, and walk up to my room to wait for her.

In my room I find Hermione talking with Astra, Hermione is not really a big owl fan, but as I walk into the dorm room Hermione silently calls me over. Astra has build a nest on a shelf, we spoke to Hazel about it in the first day of this school year that Astra would be flying in and out the window and building a nest. Hazel were understanding. As I go over to Hermione I see a little tiny white head peaking out of Astra's nest, Astra laid six eggs last month, and now they are hatching, Astra looks like a really proud mother, as her first egg has hathed, it has none of Astra's features exept one fully black feather on her right wing, which her first owl cub also have. I'm sorry that I didnt get to see it, but in two days time the second egg will hatch and hopefully I can be here to watch. 

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Puplished: 03-07-23