Breaking the shadows

Hidden emotions

1998

Thursday October 1st 

I had been studying all afternoon, as I went to my room my head filled with the N.E.W.T.s

But when I entered my room I heard something, someone was crying, I pushed the door open, and by the creak of the door, the crying stopped, I walked in and saw Ginny laying with her head burried in her pillow, I sat beside her, stroking her back, she sat up and hugged me, I just held her, no questions asked. She will tell me when she's ready. 

We sat like that for a while, Ginny crying on my shoulder, Ginny lifted her head, wiped her tears away, with her voice cracking she said: "I miss him."

I knew it was Fred, "I see him everywhere" Ginny continued, 

"I know" I said softly.

Ginny: "I was strying to be strong."

"You don't need to."

Ginny: "I just want to get out of here, Hogwarts reminds me so much of him."

"We just have to finish this year and then we have graduated, and then we can do anything we want."

Ginny: "Anything?"

"Anything, and this year will be over before you know it."

Ginny: "I feel like I've changed since he died."

"We have all changed, its a part of life."

Ginny: "The school is still ruined, the top floors will never be restored."

"But we have our dorms, and most of our classrooms."

Ginny: "I'm the only Weasley left."

"And so what, Draco is the only Malfoy, Luna is the only Lovegood."

Ginny: "But they're cousins."

"Wait they are?"

Ginny: "Didnt you know? Lucius and Xenoplillius are brothers."

"How did I not know that? Nevermind, but Neville is the only Longbottom."

Ginny: "Your references are so bad, Neville, Luna and Draco are all an only child."

"Padma and Parvati, Padma returned to Hogwarts, Parvati didnt, so she's alone too."

Ginny: "Great the only other who is alone is a twin. Of course."

"Don't think about it like that, they're sisters, just like me and Hermione."

Ginny: "But you two have each other, you are even roommates."

"I don't see Hermione often even if she's my sister and my roommate, she stays in the room all day exept for classes."

Ginny: "You're right I dont see her outside of class either."

"Ron visited yesterday, I think she needed to speak with him."

Ginny: "I know I spoke with him too. He was up here before he met with Hermione. He gave me this."

She shows me a yellow bracelet. Yellow was Fred's favorite colour as it made everyone happy.

"It's pretty."

Ginny: "Thank you, for being here when I need you."

"I'm always here."

Ginny leans in and kisses me softly.

Ginny: "I love you."

"I love you too Ginny."

Just then Hermione walks in, her eyes red as if she had cried. She sat angrily at her desk and pulled out her school books, she scribled over the parchment agressivly, I gave Ginny a look, and Ginny left the room whispering: "I'll find Luna."

I nodded, and as the door closed behind her, I walked over to Hermione, placed my hand on her shoulder, Hermione pushed it away: "Not now" she said more angry than ever. 

"Mione." I tried.

"Not now." Hermione snapped.

"Yes now, Hermione."

Hermione took a deep breath, and breathing out her breath was shakey.

"Hermione, tell me."

Hermione: "I have nothing to say to you."

"I know you do, you're stressed."

Hermione: "I'm really not,"

"Then come for a walk with me."

Hermione: "I dont have time I have to.."

"You have studied everyday since we arrived, and you are several months ahead on homework. Just tell me."

Hermione: "I can't."

"Come on let's go down to the lake."

Hermione nodded.

--

The trip down to the lake were quiet, we sat down on the bathing jetty, our feet hanging inches above the water. "Hermione, tell me what's wrong." I tried again. 

Hermione: "I just have so much to do, and I don't have time for anything else, and everything has to be perfect, McGonagall is nagging on me, and I got a 98% on her latest pop quiz. What did you get in that anyway?"

"96%" I lied, I got a 100% but I don't want to make Hermione more upset. 

Hermione: "Oh."

"It was a hard test, but dont worry about that. And everything doesnt have to be perfect."

Hermione: "But it does have to be perfect if it isnt I will never be the Minister of Magic."

"That's years away, just try and relax, live in the moment."

Hermione: "How can I." Her breath quickining.

"I have an idea. For a month, you'll have to do an acticity with me, and you can't say no."

Hermione: "How often will that activity be?"

"You don't know that yet, if I say, let's go to Hogsmead, you are not allowed to say no, only if you have other plans, with Ginny, Luna, Neville or Ron."

Hermione: "Okay."

We sat quiet for a minute for Hermione to process my offer. I sat and watched the water lillies moving along the water, I must have spaced out, becuase I didnt hear Hermione saying my name, multiple times, when she tapped on my shoulder I snapped out of my head, and Hermione said: "I can't breathe."

I panicked slightly, but then it hit me, cold things stop panick attacks, or can stop them. 

"Hermione, listen to me, put your hand in the water."

Hermione: "What?"

"Just do it."

Hermione did as I said, and she kept her hand under the cold water for a while and I noticed her breath slowig down as the water embracing her skin.

Hermione: "How did you know that would work?"

"Tried it myself a few times."

Hermione: "This was terrible."

"I know, but it was just your body reminding you that you should relax."

Hermione: "Thank you for being here."

"I'll always be here."

Hermione got up, her hand had turned slighly blue from the cold, but she just wiped it off in her sweater. 

I had helped two of the closest people to me today, and they both needed me. It feels good to be needed.

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Puplished: 05-07-23