Florence's POV
Papunta na sana ako sa kotse ko nang may humablot saakin. Hindi naman na ako nakareact o nakagawa ng ingay dahil tinakpan nito ang bibig ko.
Tinulak naman niya ko sa pader ar doon ko nakita kung sino yung taong yun.
"Hi baby, I miss you so much"
Napatulala nalamang ako sakaniya at walang kibong nakatitig sa maamo niyang mukha.
"I miss you so much my love, please come back to me. Please baby"
She cupped my cheeks and I held onto it...
"Stop ma'am. I told you before, tumigil kana! Pareho lang tayong walang mapapala sa isa't isa"
“No love, that's not what I meant....” Sabat naman ng isip ko.
"I love you so much baby, please don't say that" she begged again.
“Please love, stop making this difficult for us....”
"You can't love me at the same time you have a husband ma'am" I stated nonchalantly.
“I love you too, my Jelena. Please fight for us... I know you don't love him, love love”
"I told you before, love. I don't love him" she whispered.
“I know you don't, my dear”
"But your actions says otherwise. Ma'am you gotta let go of what you thought we had. It was never real" I said.
“All of it is real, my bebe dragon.... everything what we have is real."
"No baby don't say that. It was real, it was real to me! Totoong mahal kita Flo at naramdaman ko na mahal mo rin ako! " She began tearing up that made my heart ache.
“It was real to me too, mon amour... I do love you, I love you more than you think I did"
"None of it was real to me, Ma'am. I don't know what kind of sick games you are playing with me. But please let me go" I pulled her hand off my face and I took the last glance of her beauty.
I walk away but before I could exit the room she talked again.
"Flo, I wasn't lying. I love you and it's real. Everything I showed you and everything I made you feel, it's all real. So if ever you decide to come back and love me too, for real this time, I will always welcome you with open arms. You're the only person my heart is beating for, and you're the only person my heart chose. No one else, and it will always be you Florence Dela Mercano. I will always wait for you, mahal ko. Married or not, ikaw lang ang hihintayin ko"
I didn't bother to look back at her. I walked away and run to my car. No tears left my eye, I just continue driving, and driving until I stopped.
It was too painful to watch the person I love fall apart because of me. No matter how much I want to comfort her, to be there for her I can't.
I don't wanna risk ruining what she had worked for. I love her so much that I'd rather let her lose me than what she worked for.
Turning your dream into a reality is not easy, and I don't want her efforts and sacrifices go to waste because of me. No never, even if it means losing the person I love.
Lord naman kasi, ano po bang ginawa ko para maging ganto yung buhay ko?
Am I not enough ba?
Kulang pa ba yung sakit na naramdaman ko?
"LORD AYOKO NA PO PLEASE LANG!" sigaw ko. Dibali nang sumigaw sigaw ako dito ay wala namang makakarinig saakin.
"ANO PO BANG KASALANAN KO LORD PARA GANTUHIN NIYO BUHAY KO?! SAWANG SAWA NAKO LORD!"
Sinawalang bahala ko yung sakit na nararamdaman ko saaking lalamunan at dibdib dahil gusto ko lang talaga malabas yung nararamdaman ko ngayon.
"L-Lord.... ano po bang dapat kong gawin? Hindi po ba sapat y-yung paghihirap ko?"
"Lord ang daya daya naman po eh! Pi-pinagkait niyo n-na nga po na makasama ko si-sina mommy at daddy n-ngayon naman Lord s-si Jelena naman?"
Umupo nalamang ako sa lupa at hindi ko na inabala kung madumihan pa yung toga na suot ko.
Tanginang graduation 'to!
"Napaka daya naman Lord eh! K-kulang na nga p-po ako sa aruga ng ma-magulang ipagkakait niyo pa sakin na m-mahalin at makasama yung t-taong mahal k-ko!"
Hinyaan ko nalang tumulo yung mga luha ko dahil alam ko namang mangangawit lang ako sa kakapunas dito.
"PAGOD NA PAGOD NA KO LORD!" malakas na sigaw ko.
"PLEASE LANG LORD TAMA NA! Kung ganto lang din po buhay ko kitilin niyo na'ko. Baka sakaling maramdaman ko pa muli yung pagmamahal nina mommy and daddy sa langit"
Oo gustong gusto ko na mawala sa mundong ito.
Matagal na, simula pa nung naulila ako sa mga magulang ko.
Kahit andun si Aunt Margaret ay nararamdaman ko pa din na may kulang.
Pero nabuo yung pagkukulang na iyun simula nung makilala ko si Jelena.
Oo siya yung naging band aid sa sugat na akala ko'y hindi hindi na muling gagaling.
Pero mukhang nainfection ata, bumuka nanaman eh..... tapos mas humapdi pa, mas lalong lumalim yung sugat.
But if I'm being honest, awang awa nako sa mahal ko. Awang awa na'ko kay Jelena.
Mas hindi niya deserve yung paraan na pagtrato ko sakaniya. Gustong gusto kong bumalik sa mga bisig niya at yakapin siya ng mahigpit.
Gustong gusto kong sabihin sakaniya kung gaano ko siya kamahal, na totoo saakin yung mga nangyari.... nais kong ibulong sakaniya kung gaano ko siya mahal.
Nakakabaliw nga naman mainlove. Kala ko dati nung bata ako masaya pag may love life kana, pero ngayong tumanda ako nag iba na yung perspective ko when it comes to love.
Parang ayoko nalang ata mag mahal...
Makalipas ang ilang oras ay naglakad na muli ako pabalik sa kotse ko.
Hindi ko alam na may ganto palang lugar, pero simula ngayon ay safe place ko na 'to.
Tanaw kasi dito yung buong city. Ewan ko ba pano ako napadpad dito eh nag d-drive lang naman ako kanina.
Bubuksan ko na sana yung pinto nang may humablot saakin.
Lalabanan ko sana kung sino man yun kaso nahilo ako sa amoy nung gloves niya.
LORD ANO NANAMAN BA 'TO? SAWANG SAWA NAKO SA JOKE TIME LORD, TAMA NA....
YOU ARE READING
Married But Secretly Waiting
Romance(SERIES #1) "I was married, yet I was still waiting for the love of my life. My true love. But now I lost her. I lost her again, this time she's not coming back." - 'Jelena Reaielle Padilla-Dela Mercano' Through this story we will encounter the sto...
