It's Always Been Briar

Chapter 8.

I laugh again because it honestly doesn't even bother me that I am getting this personal with Briar. It feels right and like how things should be. Briar looks like she has calmed down and relaxed a lot. There is a look in her eyes that I don't understand but I will hopefully learn what it means soon.

'Are you feeling better sweetheart?'

She smiles at me and my heart flutters, like a fucking fairytale.

'I can't believe it. I was so stupid.' She said and now the smile is gone.

I reach over and pull her into me and lay back on her bed. She hesitates for a brief moment and then situates herself and snuggles me. I have my arms wrapped around her while she has her head on my chest and her leg over mine.

'This is the first time I've ever snuggled someone that wasn't one of the sisters or Lenny. With all of them, it's platonic.' I whisper.

She tilts her head up to look at me. While she looks into my eyes she asks. 'Really?'.

I smile spreads across my lips and I nod at her.

'100%. I am not oblivious to the fact that you know my reputation. I'm sure that's what has kept you distant from me for all this time. Which sucks but I can't change what is already done. But I drew several hard limits that I never crossed. And you crossed two of them in the last 45 minutes.' I chuckle.

'Two? Snuggling is one, what's the other one?' Briar asks me.

'Kissing.'

She shakes her head and then says. 'No way, you have been with so many girls. It's not possible.'

Damn, hearing her say that hurts, "so many girls". She is not wrong, I've messed around with a lot of girls and slept with a whole lot more. I couldn't even put a number to it.

Fuck.

'It is possible. Do you wanna talk about the past in that department?'

'Yes, please.' She nods

Ok, here we go. I'm gonna lay it all out and hope that she can overlook it and take everything for what it is, the past I lived without her.

'I've only kissed 2 other girls. Tracy was who I slept with for the first when I was 14. You don't know her. I honestly don't know her. Hunter, Chase, and I went to a high school party with the older brothers and that's where I met her. I got super stoned, had no idea what I was doing, and she did what she did. I think she just used me like a human dildo.'

We both chuckle about that a little. Ok, she chuckled. That's gotta be a good sign.

'Then, I kissed Jennifer Nagy. Cause she was my "girlfriend" for the senior week trip to Cabo. I still say I've never had a relationship because we just wanted to have someone to sleep with all week. So we agreed to not sleep with other people on the trip.'

Thinking about it I add.

'The only kiss anyone I ever slept with got was a kiss on top of their head, like on their hair. But even that wasn't a regular thing.'

I'm playing with her hand that is lying on my chest while I tell her my story. This feels so nice. I am relieved that I can talk to her about this stuff. I need her to know even if I am a little worried about how she will react overall.

'Those were the first and second times I had sex. The 3ish years between them, it was all just foolin around. Just doing everything else. Then after senior week, I wanted to see if it was hard to get a girl to sleep with me. It sounds absolutely awful to say out loud but it's the truth.