It's Always Been Briar

Chapter 39.

River's P.O.V.

Hearing Briar completely break when she gets inside her apartment, shatters the pieces of my heart even smaller than they already were. Sand. The pieces of my heart are as small as sand.

Tears start gushing down my face but I don't want her to hear me cry, so I hold it until I get in the elevator. After the doors close and it starts to move down, I finally let the sobs escape my body.

I can't breathe, I can't think, I can't stop crying.

I have never cried this hard about anything. Not even when my Papa passed away.

What have I done?

I never should have agreed with this plan. I never should have had sex with Lenyx. I never should have trusted Lenyx. I never should have taken that fucking Gatorade from Lenyx.

How was I supposed to know that she put fucking drugs in it?!

When Briar came into the bathroom and said what she said about Lenyx giving me drugs, I couldn't believe it. Lenyx wouldn't do that. Right? But the way she reacted to Briar told me everything I needed to know. It was true, Lenyx drugged me.

When Briar explained that I was going to pop hot on my drug test, that I 100% will be taking in a couple of days, my entire world came crashing down. Not because I could lose my dream job but because the look in Briar's eyes told me I lost the person I wanted to live my dream with.

I am hysterical as I walk out of her building and get in Chase's car.

'Jesus, River. What the fuck happened in there?' Hunter asks.

'She. Won't. Talk. To. Me.' I sob.

'Fuck, man. I know you have been through a lot in the last 24 hours but Briar went through hell and back. She just needs some time. She will come around.' Chase says while driving back to our apartment.

'That doesn't help, Chase.' I mumble.

'I fucking abused her. I don't blame her if she never forgives me.' I cry.

'You thought she drugged you, River.' Hunter says.

'Never in my right mind would I think she would ever do something like that, especially to me. So why, why did I think that?!' I say while trying to stop crying.

'I was so fucking mean to her, even after she told me she didn't do it. She was trying to help me and I kicked her out. Oh my god, I fucking cheated.' I covered my mouth.

'I'm gonna be sick.' I mumble right as Chase is parking in the lot of our building. I open the car door and fall out onto my hands and knees. I immediately start puking all over the pavement.

'I'm

a

god

damn

cheater.'

I cry during heaves.

'Riv, try to calm down. You are not a cheater. Briar was part of the plan, she knew you were going to have sex with Lenyx.' Chase tries to reason with me in a whisper.

I stumble onto my feet and slam Chase's car door. Heading toward the lobby door. This is not a conversation I want to have outside. 'Let's go talk inside.' I tell them so they know this isn't the place to say anything else.

Once we get into the apartment I go to the kitchen and grab a water, drink it, and throw the bottle in the recycle bin. Then I grab a coconut water, drink that, and throw the bottle in the recycle bin.