Reverie

stoical

The door wasn't locked. So, I slowly get in and that's when my dad says,"Here she is. Elora, come here sweetheart"

I strode towards the guests and greet them. There was a man who's currently in his 40's and a young girl who's most probably her daughter. As soon as I look at her and give a smile as a greeting, she gives me an incomprehensible look. Then, she forces a smile. ahh maybe an introvert.
"You look tired sweetheart. Where have you been?", My father whispered in my ears.
"Dad I was out with my friends", I responded. He nodded his head and told me to head to my bedroom to freshen up.
Ahhh. I fell onto my bed. If I be like this for two more minutes I'll fall asleep. I have to take a shower then have dinner. Or else my mom will kill me. She's very uptight about meals. So I never dare to neglect my meals.
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"Mommy", I showed up in the kitchen and back hugged her.
"Where were you? you were so late today", she asked.
"I told you na. Sora, I and another friend went to the Hyde Park today", I drawled.
"Go take a seat. I'm bringing dinner",
I nodded while yawning. Whenever I have days like this I turn into the most tired person.
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."Good night mom", I said as I ran towards my bedroom can't wait one more minute. I jumped on to my bed with my phone. Checked if there's any messages. Sora asked me if I reached home almost an hour ago. Ohh .
I keep my phone aside after replying.
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*Flashback*
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We were at a cafe. It was our first time meeting at a public space. I never dared to show up at such places with him because of my family.
"You look gorgeous", he said staring at fondly at me.
"Thanks", I profusely blushed but I tried to hide it. This was one of the reasons we had argument . I used to act cold after our first break up
I used my coldness as a shield to not get hurt again. But after he shared how he felt about this, I realised that if I don't let that person know my feelings how come they would know if I'm actually interested in them and willing to make this work out?
After this, I tried to change myself and I successfully turned myself into the person he wanted me to be. But , did that stop us from falling apart? No. Nothing could.
After this we were good. He would appreciate me for understanding him and rectifying the mistakes I made. But , after a certain time , he seemed to be indifferent to our relationship. I didn't ask him about it right away. I took time to observe if it's a transitory phase or a serious matter.

One day, I finally decided to talk about it and the response I got from him was unexpected.
"I don't know why but I feel so lost, I just feel like I became a totally different person. The emotions that I once used to harbor are fading away. I don't have the strength to even show you what I feel about you. And that really sucks",he continues.
"I know that you don't feel loved by me. And trust me , I'm not intending to play with your heart. That's what I'm certain of. so, I think you should
Deliberately make a decision. Because I can see that you're not even getting the bare minimum from me which not only hurts you but also me."
I could tell that he was very anxious while speaking about this. His hands were shaking.So were mine.But I tried to look as calm as possible to not make him feel guilty and more anxious.
"Raven, calm down. There's no need to feel so stressed about it. It's not like you have forced me to be back together . I too consented to this. So, it's not your fault and I was determined from the beginning that if it doesn't work out, we won't force ourselves.", He took my hands in his and looked straight at my eyes.
"Why are you so good? It's not fair",still looking at me expectantly.
"Only because I love you"I admitted.we were silent for a few minutes after that.
I wasn't afraid of letting him know about my intense feelings anymore.
I don't care if we are or will become a thing in future. I feel what I feel regardless.
"Can I be in touch with you?",
"Of course. Our friendship isn't going anywhere", I reassured him with a smile.

We said goodbye to each other. On my way home, I cried . Silently.
"Elora. I've lost a lot of people in my life. I don't want your name to be on that list. Never", I remember these words he said to me when we were together.
"Don't worry Raven, I will not let you lose me. If I have to stay by your side as a Friend, I will", I said to myself.
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******
If y'all are puzzled about how many times they actually got back together. Let me clear this up. So, they started dating two years ago. It only lasted six months. When Elora's mom became suspicious of them, they had to part their ways. After one year, they confronted each other and cleared up all the misunderstandings they had about each other . Then, again they fell into the old cycle. And I mentioned everything that happened afterwards in this part.