Loving Cross

53.

*Anson's POV*

Waking up this morning, embarrassed is an understatement.

The real issue at hand though.

I kissed Parker last night, and I don't feel an ounce of guilt about it.

I love Cash. I do.

But everything that happened with Parker yesterday, brought out the feelings I've been trying to bury for literally 4 years since he left.

Everything was there. The body language, the signs, the way he was talking to me. And he didn't want it.

Now, that one issue has brought up like, a fuck ton of other ones.

SO, here's a list.

1. Parker rejected me and my ego is shot.

2. I have a boyfriend who I love, and I kissed another guy.

3. I have to figure out how to tell said boyfriend that in spur of the moment I kissed another guy.

4. Said boyfriend and guy are friends.

5. I have to see them both in 4 hours since it's noon for riding practice.

And I have no clue what I'm going to do about any of that.

So I did the one thing my brain would let me.

I walked down the stairs, grabbed 2 bags of chips, a container of ice cream, and the jug of sweet tea and went back to my room to sit in my bed and watch Love is Blind and avoid my problems.

I got through 2 episodes until the root of all my problems was knocking on my window.

Literally.

Parker is sitting on my roof knocking on my window.

I sat up, pulled my hair in to a bun and rolled out of bed.

I walked over and slid my window open slightly. "Yes?"

"Ani please open the window the full way so I can come in." He sighed.

I slid it the rest of the way up and went back to cocoon my self in my bed.

"That is the last thing I want you to do Anson." He shook his head and sat at the end of my bed. "I don't want you to bury yourself in bed."

"Just my typical Sunday." I cleared my throat.

"No, your typical Sunday is sleeping until noon, spending the day down at the track, then coming up here and doing tramp work. Unless its ROTC weekend and it's flipped. I know exactly why you're shoved in bed right now, and we need to talk about it." He nodded.

"There's nothing to talk about." I shook my head.

He raised his eyebrows. "Nothing?" He pursed his lips.

I sighed. "Not nothing. Just. I don't want to talk about it."
"Well why not. Anson talk to me. Just, tell me the truth. Why did you-"

"Parker. Just, stop." I threw myself back. "Clearly it shouldn't have happened."

"Why would you even think that?" He shook his head.

"Because I have a boyfriend Park, and you're my best friend, and you clearly didn't want me to do-"

"Now stop it!" He crawled on top of me and pressed me down in to the mattress. "Don't think I didn't want you to."

"You said you didn't-"

And then he leaned down and kissed me.

Like, really kissed me.

Running his hands up to my sides to my face and pulling my bun out to bury his fingers in my hair.