Loving Cross

70.

*Anson's POV*

Holy fuck. Parkers here.

My dad gripped my shoulder and pulled me in to him. "Now's the time. Let everything out. Ok?"

I took a deep breath and nodded.

He kissed my head one last time, and headed back toward the aquarium entrance.

Just looking at Parker, the rush of everything I've felt over the weekend came.

I went from holy fuck he's here to sad that he didn't come see me last night to mad as fuck that he just left without a word to anyone, including Dyson.

"You going to leave me over here with the jelly fish, or are you going to come see them too?"

Honestly, I want to swing on him because I'm so damn mad.

But my body said something completely different. It said bitch you going to cry instead.

I took a deep breath, wiped my face, and walked right over to him.

He sighed. "With what everyone's been saying I was expecting some of those." He nodded and put his hands in his pockets. "But I really missed you Ani."

"Did you?" I choked out and crossed my arms.

His face sunk. "Of course I did. Anson I wasn't running away from everything going on. I just needed a break. I was coming right back. But right now you're looking awful swingy, so why don't we go get a sno-cone because I know how much you love them, come back here, watch these jelly fish, and talk. About everything. Please."

I cleared my throat and nodded.

Friday, I knew exactly what I wanted to say to him. But now that I'm actually here, looking at him, him telling me he missed me, I'm mad and have no clue what to say.

We went and got sno-cones, came back, and sat on the bench in front of the jelly fish.

And it was completely silent for 10 minutes.

He sighed. "I'm sorry." He shook his head. "I shouldn't have left without telling anyone. I didn't even go to see Holly."

"Then who did you go for Parker?"

"I went to go see her brother. While I was in Arizona, and I felt like I couldn't talk to Paul or my dad about things, I would talk to Blane or his fiancé Megan. I just needed that guidance from them because I have been fucking up a lot lately. By no means are you one of those fuck ups. But the way I went about things was. I didn't go for Holly, but it turns out we both needed to see each other. She and Kylie ended things completely, and I needed the boot that Holly put in my ass about everything. So if it's ok, I want to talk first before you say anything, because I want you to understand."

Oh god. What could I have possibly done to upset him from states away.

I took a deep breath and nodded.

He tossed his sno-cone cup over to the garbage can, reached over, and gently grabbed my hand. "I am sorry. About how the last few years have been. How the last few months have gone. And I'm so sorry that I left this weekend without saying anything, because I know the reason it hurt you, and you're so mad right now is because I did not say goodbye when I moved."

Well at least he understands that.

"But I'm even more sorry that I put you in this situation. Anson I went about this entire thing with you completely wrong. I should've been honest with you when I got back. But I was so scared to do that because every time I came home, you would shut down every conversation I tried to have with you. I was scared of that rejection. I wish I could go back to that Friday and not forget our plans because that's the night you and Cash started everything. I should've been honest with Cash from the beginning because if I was none of us would've been this hurt. Yes, I was hurting, but I hate that I've hurt Cash, and it kills me that I've hurt you and put you in a place where you had to choose someone when it should've never been that way. I should've backed off the minute I saw all of the stuff with Cash was real. But some part of me couldn't. I have so many things to be sorry for. But the one thing out of all of this that I'm not sorry about, is telling you the truth about how I feel about you. Anson, you truly mean so much to me, and I do love you, more than I can explain in just this one conversation. But I don't want to keep talking and not give you time to talk. I promise I won't interrupt you, just like you haven't with me while I've been talking, because a lot of people have told me that you need to talk to me, you came to my house Friday, so I know it was important because the last I know is that you didn't want to talk to either of us."