Nights Like These

Twenty seven: my constant

End of February

It was starting to snow, outside the windows Liam saw white specks falling from the plain white sky. Clinging to the grass, he was warm and cozy in Theo's bed as he drew on his friend's arm.

"I get my ankle monitor off today" Theo says and Liam's hand pauses momentarily before nodding. "I think that was a way Josh and Brett knew where I was all the time, hacked it or something. I think they stole our phones too. Chipped them, from what I found out anyway, I'll get Mason to look into our phones to take the chip out. He's good at that" Liam sighs.

"Well they're dickheads" he says and looks up to Theo, "I'm glad you're getting it off" smiling.

"Same, it gets in the way" Liam snorts at that but soon his smile is slowly fading. Theo gives him a look.

"What's wrong?" He questions gently, tucking a strand of hair behind Liam's ear, "you've been really off today. Quiet, unlike you" he states and Liam sighs.

"Nothing, I just don't feel the best today" he replies. Feeling tired and sluggish again, knowing it's his tablets and IED causing his sour mood.

"Okay" Theo simply says, pecking Liam's forehead as the smaller continues drawing on the others arm. Knowing that Liam has episodes like this and it's best not to push him.

Theo watches him for a while, noticing the way his lashes curl up. They're long and dark, resting on his skin everytime he blinks. His features are sharp, everything about him is sharp. But strangely soft, that's how Theo sees him anyway, soft and delicate but like a thorn when he wants to be. He knows Liam is one of the strongest person he has ever met.

"I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner" Theo says and Liam raises a brow.

"Get where sooner?" He questions and Theo sighs.

"To you and Brett" Liam looks up, "when he touched you- I should have been there." He shakes his head but Liam furrows his brows.

"No- it's not your job to be there, to scare people like that away" Theo bites his lip at that wanting to argue that it is, it will always be his job. But he knows how Liam works, the boy is stubborn and he likes to get his way, once he's set on and idea he follows through.

"Did he used to do that stuff to you?" Theo questions in a quiet tone with no details, not wanting to scare Liam away.

Liam puts the cap back on his pen and exhales, looking up to Theo he blinks before shrugging.

"Our relationship was always toxic" he snorts, "we got together when he was still bullying me. He didn't want people to know so he kept that up- his dad was homophobic. But still, it hurt you know?" Theo nods at that and takes Liam's hand in his.

"I lost my virginity to him and it was nice and all, but every other time than that it seemed to become... dark. Like it wasn't a special thing anymore" he sighs, shivering slightly at the memories. "Sometimes he would ask to have sex and I'd not answer, I didn't want to always- I should have said no. That was pretty dumb of me, but I couldn't. I didn't want him to dump me, I didn't want to be alone" Theo rubs circles on the back of his hand.

"I was scared he would so I just didn't say anything, I let him do whatever he wanted. Until he fully didn't ask anymore, I wanted to say no but I couldn't. I wanted to scream stop but I didn't, it wasn't like he was doing anything bad. I never told him I didn't want it but, well I think he knew I didn't. I could see it in his eyes afterwards, he looked proud of himself; powerful" Theo blinks hard at that.

Bringing Liam's hands up to his mouth he kisses them, "fuck Liam, I'm so sorry" he says and shuffles around letting Liam rest his head against his shoulder. "I'm going to fucking kill him" he scoffs to himself and Liam notices his fists curl into a ball. His knuckles turning white from force so he grabs them, soothes them.