Away From Us

Chapter 13: "You're selfish Myrna."

Hello guys!

Well this isn't fully a chapter, because it's really short. It's just a filler for chapter12 :)

I wanted to tell you that if the story doesn't get the votes and the reads it's expected to get, I will be putting it on hold. Because really if I don't get support why would I continue:(

So please share the story with your friends if you truly like it.

Thank you!

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"Myrna.."

I marched quickly trying to pass Alex and run to my room. But of course, my brilliant plan, chose to back fire at me. He held my hand before I could get away and slammed me to the wall next to the door. My eyes widened, as I looked up at him with true fear.

His eyes, when I saw them, I was utterly astonished. They looked truly broken. As if there had been a wall covering the true emotions in them, but it fully broke down at that point. Fury filled the hurt feelings he showed. He looked at the edge of breaking down, and I was completely taken aback from just looking at him, seeing him this fragile.

He was holding me tightly, pressing my hands with pain. His chest was rising and falling quickly. And he hovered above me till I had to look up to be able to see his eyes.

I didn't know what to say, or what to do. He looked like he had so many things to say, but they all just couldn't get out.

"Where were you." His low voice filled my ear. It wasn't a question, as if he knew where I was, somehow. He didn't want to listen to my answer as if he had just said it to inform me that he knew where I was. My cold self washed all over me. He wouldn't understand me or listen to what I ever wanted say. My eyes went fully emotionless, as they burned through his.

"Alex, leave me alone." I stated slowly. My jaw tightened when he didn't move. But when his eyes roamed on my frigid features, trying to figure out what I was thinking, his grip loosened. And I took that as an opportunity to get away.

I pushed him as he stumbled slightly back, but enough for me to leave. He looked startled, and for a second, I thought he was going to faint.

I started walking to my room. As I passed the living room, someone screamed my name from there. I stopped in my track and sighed angrily. It had been a while since I felt this kind anger, and my fever was mostly the cause of it.

I entered the living room, and saw each of my cousins looking worried to death. Their faces were pale, as they stood weakly in front of me. I was feeling self conscious staring at them, how worried they looked about me.

Alex entered and stood beside Aria, whose eyes were filled with tears. Alex's gaze never left my eyes, and he looked as if he was blaming me for all of the worry I caused them.

"Myrna..where were you?" Aria softly asked, while fresh tears filled her vision. I just stared at her. I couldn't bear it, seeing them like that. I had to get out as my heart banged hard in my chest at the sight of them.

"No where."

Alex inhaled angrily. "No where?" He furiously echoed. "For fuck's sake Myrna! Can't you see we were worried to death? We thought you were fucking lost! Or worse! We freaking called the police but they said they can't do anything unless 48 hours have had to pass to make sure you were lost. And where were you? Ha, With him. You're so fucking selfish Myrna! Goddammit! You didn't even care about what will happen to us. You didn't bother to call or text any of us. You're so wrapped in yourself that you cannot see anyone else. Since when you've became like that Myrna? Since when!" Alex shouted at me.

My eyes slightly widened.

Hurt.

True hurt stabbed my heart, and filled my body. I stared at him, while my eyes started to water as I felt myself break.

I'm changing..

I'm selfish..

I'm fucked up..

A sudden urge to shout filled me. A sudden urge to emend him.

"I hate you!" I screamed. "I hate you all! I wish I had never come here! I wish I was dead so my family would still be alive. No one understands me! No one knows how I am! I'm fucking hurt. It's not that easy to just loose everything you have. I feel dead. I fucking feel dead. I hadn't wished to come here, I hadn't wished to see your hurt or worried faces. I try so hard to help, to be good for everyone, but I always fuck up. I am selfish. I'm completely wrapped in myself, Alex. But don't worry, everything will come to an end, sooner or later." My voice calmed at the last sentence, but my tears accelerated while falling.

They all were shocked by my out burst, as if I had never done that before.

A sob choked inside my throat while I covered my mouth to keep it in. I sounded forceless, vulnerable.

I ran to my room ignoring the calls I heard behind me. I locked the door, and fell on my knees to the floor. I cried loudly. Each sob of mine was followed by another. I wanted to tear myself apart, I felt myself breaking again and again. I wanted to kill myself and get rid of everything. My thoughts were all followed by Alex's words.

"Since when?"

I hated myself. I hated myself so much. I fell back on the floor, and after a while, my sobs quietened. Soon enough, I felt myself drifting, and my vision slowly started to become black.