(Extremely sorry for the delay. I was busy with my works.
I will try my best to publish all the reviews faster. )
Reviewer: Br0ken_Author
Author of the book: JankyFluffy
Title:
It seems really cool but when I first read it, it sounded like something out of a Smurf's movie ( not that is bad, I LOVE Smurfs but I just wanted to share that lol)
Cover:
The book covet is simple, which is good. I like the little picture at the bottom of the book's cover with the typewriter, skull and cupcake too. However, the font looked a little TOO simple and so did the image. I suggest trying to make it a whole cover. For example, make the background of the cover with different shades of pink and the typewriter and skull can be blood coloured and black. For the title don't. Maybe put it in the middle or the bottom and use the cursive. This is just a suggestion.
Blurb:
Not a lot of information shown. I think the author should include some stuff about the town that the main character lives in and what she does. Also , the author can easily take the simpler blurb, it says " Marble brooks lived in a small town full of writers, one of them is a murderer."The blurb present character does. For someone who may be new to the book, it may not attract the reader's attention. So I suggest the author should writing something like this:
"Marble Brooks, a female in Cupcake Hollow, has lived her life in boring town full of writers, only being seen for their delicious cupcakes and expensive restaurants. She wants to do more that her peers as a writer but doesn't know what to write. However, all of that changes when her and her friends go out to eat at " The Enchanted Strakhouse " and hours later, the unknown body of female suddenly appears at Marble's front lawn of her cabin. Now, she must figure out amongst her friends who truly killed in a deception of lies."
Plot:
Although the plot is simple it was still hard to understand at time and I was left wondering why the killer was the killing. There was no explanation or thought-out plan of the murdering. In order for a plot to work, you must have Who, What, Why and How in the story and if there are noneOf that or only a few of those 4 W's presents, it can be confusing for the reader. Personally, it would have been interesting to see how the killer actually killed the person who died, when they had the time to murder and a plan showing the intended spot to murder the victim but changed later on. Also, I got confused when it came down to banned lists and such. I wish it was explained more.
Character Development :
Not much development is going on, even when the murderer is caught. It felt as if the reasoning behind the murder was cheesy or rather pointless and the climax point of it was.. Mediocre. It had a lot of potential, but it went downhill the dialogue is also not put together. WHY did the killer expose themselves? WHAT made her have so much rage to not only kill the victim but also frame their friends? HOW could have this gone down if it was done differently? Also, the evidence to show the murderer actually killing did NOT add up and it felt like author got bored and threw it in last second.
Grammar/Spelling:
Now I do this too at times so this isn't a complete stab to the author but DO NOT make "but" a start to sentence. It can happen if done right but instead of run-on sentences, there were a BUNCH of cut-off sentences where it could have extended further with a comma or semi-colon, rather than a period. There was also a time when marble described the different restaurants and attractions located in Cupcake Hollow, it was separated by periods and commas were used when it's not supposed to be used. Commas can be used for three things when it comes to describing things. First option is to extend a sentence, Second option is to use commas like parentheses for details that don't need to be there (Ex: Susie, a young girl who loves to write, was able to get her book published by New York Times) and the third option is to list subjects relating to each other (Ex: Carlos has to do the dishes, wash his clothes, and walk the dog for his after school chores) . The author failed to do what I just listed at times.
Overall:
This can be a good book if the author improves what I talked about. It is a shame to see a good story get rushed or skipped over, so I hope the author makes an edited version of the book.
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Extremely sorry for the delay. I was busy with my works.
I will try my best to publish all the reviews faster.
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