Reviewer: Minooiii
Author of the book: JohanLiebert33
Cover:
Your cover is attractive and I liked it.
Title:
The title suits the story, in my opinion.
Blurb:
It's well-explained, and it didn't lack anything.
Characters:
1/ Angelo, your main character, is well portrayed, and his tough life can make the reader's sympathy.
2/ James, seems such a mysterious character since his personality is a bit shady.
Whether he's good or bad... or maybe a psycho?... So I believe he illuminates the mysterious side of your story.
I liked your character in general, but I'd like to mention that you need to describe their appearance so that we can imagine them better.
Since you have so many characters in your story, I think a characters' portfolios' chapter before the start can help your audience to catch the story better and not get confused.
Plot:
The plot is indeed well-written. I'm picky when it comes to the mafia genre since it needs to portray the thrill, darkness, and action scenes in the story in a way to make sense, and I should say that you wrote and showed the reality of the mafia pretty awesome.
The idea is new and fresh...
Grammar and vocabulary:
Everything was fine. I liked your vocabulary choices and the sentences were smooth.
And There was only one typo in chapter 3 in the line, "Then he held Jordan..."
Engagement:
The engagement was also good, and thrilling to read. Everything was described in the right amount. So overall it was perfect.
Tips:
1/ Don't forget to describe their physical appearance.
2/Chapters 2, 5, and 6 were a bit long in my point of view. I heard that the best words count for each chapter is around 2000 up to 2300 so that the audience does not lose their engagement and skip reading the part completely.
I'm not sure how many words you wrote there, but I thought telling you about this as a reader could've been helpful.
3/Make sure to interact with your audiences by replying to their comments.
4/ This is not a tip, I'm just curious what happened to Nick and Jacob in the prologue? Are they going to enter the story soon? :(
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