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Review: Love Me Again

Reviewer: Bluelovesleep

Author of The book: _sweet_sunshine32

Title:

I liked the title. It fits perfectly with the story and plot.

Cover:

The cover is good. I enjoy the colour a lot but there's just one thing that I would add and that is the author's note at the bottom or at the top and maybe a nice quote from the book ( at the bottom or top) to complete the cover a bit more.

Blurb:

The blurb is great! I don't have anything to point out about it. We learn what is important and it still leaves that curiosity to find out what is to come. Great job!

Plot:

The plot was really interesting.  I found the prologue a smart way to start, and the narration of the past and present was really smart and helped the readers to have the full picture of the story. It is not the typical story I look for, as I enjoy more fantasy and less romance, but it was a good read even for me. 

Character:

The characters are great. They seemed very thought out for me, and as if the writer spent hours creating them.

Writing style:

I noticed that during your writing there were instances in which the characters talk directly with the readers for example in ch 1 you have this phrase:

" And dude let me tell you. I FREAKING LOVEEE ITTTT." in my experience it took me away from the story because you were breaking the fourth wall. This is my opinion,  so other reviewers and your readers might like it but for me, it immediately took me out of the story.

In chapter five, when the main characters go to a restaurant,  you chose to put a picture of the place instead of describing it. I know that descriptions can be hard, especially if you don't use images to help you with them, but descriptions are important ( especially scenic descriptions). The image you chose is great, but I think it would be better ( as a writer ) if you took the time to describe the place. It's not hard when you have a visual reference.  Just stare at the image and describe what you are seeing. What colour are the couches, flooring, etc..? Then you can add more details, like the staff working,  the smell and sounds etc. It will make the scene much more vivid and real for the imaginative readers.

Grammar:

In the prologue, you have a missing phrase that's missing a period, the bit should be " I feel happy. Still in the prologue, Matt is accusing Mara of cheating and the whole sentence is written in capital letters, I think it would be better to change that since, after his dialogue, you use "he shouted" as a dialogue tag. Sentences in capital letters are very common throughout your story and I would suggest you use punctuation to help you with that.

Example: in chapter 1 you have <<" You are no fun. And before I forget the reason why I came here let me tell you about it.  THERE IS A FUCKING GROUP OF THE MOST FUCKING MEN IN THE EMERGENCY SECTION" She said suddenly jumping up and down and shouting out loud causing the people sitting there to look at us we were freaks>>

I would suggest you change it to something like:
"You are no fun!" Maria exclaimed. " And before I forget the reasons why I came here, let me tell you about it" her voice squealed in clear excitement. "There is a fucking group of the fucking hottest and freakingly gorgeous men in the emergency section!" she said while jumping up and down on the spot. Her sudden shout caused the people sitting there to look at us like we were freaks.

Another thing that I noticed is that you shifted from first-person POV to third-person POV, this might have been an accident but make sure to go through your work to catch the few other time in which that happens.

Vocabulary:

I don't have much to say about the vocabulary,  as it was very good and balanced. No over-the-top words were used nor was it too basic. 

Engagement :

The story is very engaging. I was buried deep in their relationship wanting to see how it would flourish and develop over time. I also enjoyed the questions you made to your reader at the end of each chapter it was a clever way to get more interaction. 

Overall: this is a good story, in my opinion, and something that I would expect to get from its genre.

Tips:

Re-read your work to catch the sudden changes from 1st person pov to 3rd person pov, and try to work on your description of the setting and even clothes ( it's not hard to do it when you have a picture to guide you, and eventually, it will become natural and might find yourself creating your places without needing pictures).

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