𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐏𝐄𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐘𝐄𝐒 two years ago, my life changed forever. All it took was one night to alter the rest of my life. I wasn't sure about a lot of things however, there are two things that I was absolutely certain on: what I wanted to wear and who...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
Song - Waiting Room by Phoebe Bridgers.
Heidi Hayes's funeral was a rainy day. A real gloomy, dark at noon, miserable day. It was fitting. It's like the world was on our side in some ways because I'm not sure I would've liked it to have been hot and sunny.
It was the eighth of October and a particularly cold one at that. I stand in the pew with my family in the one behind Harper's. She stands directly in front of me and I'm not sure she's even breathing. She's been as still as a statue since the ceremony took place.
I'm surprised she got out of bed, to be honest. After that night we spent together when I showed up at her apartment with all the hope of God in me, she hasn't been the same. She kissed me in the morning, got dressed and went straight back to her Mums. I wasn't allowed to come.
Heidi passed away that night. Hadn't heard from Harper since. When I saw her outside of the church this morning my heart fell out and smashed all over the floor, quickly swept up by the wind. Her eyes are dark, her cheeks sunken in, her lips chapped, her hair frizzy. I can't say much about her body but I'm sure she's lost a lot of weight but she's covered it with a long black wool coat, tights and heels.
Up front of the church is a picture of Heidi, a really beautiful one. One that's been taken by someone else. She's just smiling, bare-faced with the sun peeking through her hair. Her coffin sits right next to it.
Matilda gasps beside me, another load of sobs pouring out of her. She'd spent as much time with Heidi as she could but it was difficult. Juliet and Emerson didn't let everyone in to see Heidi but Matilda was allowed in to say her goodbyes. Every time I'd tried talking to Harper about it, she just mumbled, barely remembering anything. Matilda could've been there every day and Harper wouldn't have noticed.
The priest is talking but I'm not paying attention. I'm only trying to console Harper best as I can with her back to me. She rests her head on her mum's shoulder, her back shaking and quivering.
It's actually a really small, intimate ceremony. My family, Theo, Dais, Beau (Carter sent his best and some flowers from rehab), Astrid, Mia, Charl sit on the second to last pew on the other side. A few relatives sit in the front rows. Some of Heidi's closest team managers and assistants fill up the other rows, a few of her friends, that sort of thing.
The paparazzi outside aren't giving us much room to breathe, though.
The Priest announces that it's time for anyone who wants to talk it's free to. I'm not sure if Harper's doing a speech but Matilda is. Mum kisses her head as she builds up the courage to go up there.
She sniffles, making the sign of the cross before clearing her throat in front of the microphone. "Heidi Cynthia Hayes was my best friend—is my best friend. She loved being pretty and making sure other people felt pretty too." She looks up, her eyes go to Harper. "Heidi really was one in a million. She was special. She was the bestest friend I could have ever wished for. Heidi saved me, she never let me drown for too long. She was the light for so many people and her impact on the world will never be forgotten."
