Meant To Be.. (kenjorine)

faking it

(back to posting, I feel a bit better)

(Tw?: Homophobia and shit)

(butters pov)

I walk into room 36 and see everyone already with their partners for whatever the fuck we are gonna do. The room just has lots of lounge chairs surrounding a table with some Christian decor. Some kids are sitting on the carpet, some of the sofa and some of them are in the beanbag chair. I see a boy looking at his phone in the back of the room. That's probably Bradley.. I walk up to him, he's a tall pale boy with dirty blonde curly hair, a band shirt, dark blue baggy jeans, and some converse. Pretty cool style I guess.
I see he has airpods in and he doesn't look up at me. I tap his shoulder and he jumps up and takes one airpod out, "oh hey, you scared me" he smiles. "Oh sorry about that, are you Bradley by any chance?" He nods, "Leopold?" I smile, "yeah! But you can call me butters, everyone does" he puts his phone in the front pocket of his jeans, "oh- okay. Honestly, I expect to be paired with nobody again. The leaders of this fucking place hate me."
I look at him curiously, "why do they?" He puts his hands in his pockets, "it's just.. I speak the truth. Unlike 4 years ago where I was a stupid little pussy. Trust me, this place is the fucking worst. They feed you lies and scare you into being straight. Saying 'god hates you and will never love you' is fucking traumatic" he rants. I stay silent. He looks at me nervously, "sorry for ranting." I smile, "it's okay! So.. you know what we have to do for this thing we are doing?"
He sighs, "it's stupid and I have to go through it every year, so basically-" a counselor walks in, "hey guys, so you may be wondering why you're here with us and with a partner.. so we are going to explain it!" She claps her hands together, "so we know this can help to scare your gayness away. Basically, you're gonna have to slightly kiss the partner you have right now, but we are gonna remind you how badly God thinks of you while doing this, telling you how horrible it is that you're doing that. Trust me guys, it's very therapeutic."
My eyes widen slightly, what the fuck is this camp?!

(Bradleys pov)

I wait for these stupid instructions to be done, so I can get this shit over with. This will be the 7th boy I've kissed in my life, and I'm 15. This place is just so stupid, I also can't tell if this boy is genuinely happy or faking, either way it makes me sick. His smile is nice though, I will admit that. Then another counselor walks in. He gives me a dirty look and I give him the same. "Okay for this challenge.. go ahead you fucking f-ggots."
I roll my eyes and look at butters, that's his nickname right? He looks scared and uncomfortable. "Let's just get it over with" I mumble and just kiss him. Every time I do this it's so awkward. Obviously, the counselor is telling us how unloved from God we are since we are gay. How full of shit they are.
Why is kissing butters different from the other times..?

(Butters pov)

They tell us to pull away and I instantly do. Can't believe they made us do that shit, it's weird and I don't like it. The only person I've kissed is Kenny.. I turn away from him awkwardly the counselor speaks again, "now aren't you glad that's never gonna happen again? Or do you still feel these negative feelings of gayness?" What the fuck is this. What is this camp.. I need to just fake my way out of here I guess
"You know you are so full of shit." Bradley says to the counselor and I look at him with a "what are you doing" face. He just rolls his eyes. The counselor scoffs, "Bradley I swear.. we are trying to help you! Can't you just try?!" Bradley makes a face like a bratty little kid, "you were never trying to help, trust me. Nobody here can be fixed." The counselor shakes her head and points to me, "well I heard someone here really wants to be fixed! Good job butters" I make a fake awkward smile and Bradley looks at me with a confused face.
This is probably why he's been here for so long.. "if he's really gay, you won't be able to change him either." Bradley says and crosses his arms. The counselor just sighs, "Bradley do not put those things in his head!" "Fine." He says. The counselor pinches the bridge of her nose, "jeez Bradley, you really need God.."
She faces me, "I'm so sorry your in this mess sweetie, if he messes with you please report him." I smile and nod. Then she walks away to maybe another group. I face Bradley, "what the fuck is your problem?" "My problem? What's yours?!" He says, "I mean, do you seriously believe what they are saying to you??" I shake my head, "no- I'm trying to get out of here and fake to them. That's how you have to do it.. what's your problem? Do you never want to get out of here or something?!"
"I do want to get out of here. Faking it just never crossed my mind.." I raise my eyebrows, "you've been here five years and that has NEVER crossed your mind? Holy shit." He sighs, "that's not the point. Anyways, can you maybe.. teach me how to fake it?"