Autumn of May

CHAPTER 40: When Our Leaves Started to Fall

"Why didn't you even tell me about this Dad?" Napatayo na ako and I can feel the fast beating of my heart. I can feel that my body becomes hot dahil sobrang galit ang nararamdaman ko. "Xavier, I don't want to hide this from you but we don't have a choice, we need to suppressed your memories..." napatigil si Dad sa pagsasalita when I suddenly stood up. "What the f*ck.. Did I even heard it right Dad?" I aggressively asked.

"Look Xavier, I am sorry for hiding these from you but all of these, lahat ng ginawa namin sa iyo is for your own good. Your traumatized from the event and that trauma keeps haunting you. You can't sleep, you can't eat and you can't even live your life normally because of that. I already lose my wife and I don't want to lose my son also" he said in a strong well-mannered tone. Hinilamos ko ang aking kamay sa aking mukha. "Suppressing my memories did not help me overcome the past dad because I did even remember pieces of it. And that pieces, still hunts me over and over again" I said while trying myself to calm down and not to be angry of the fact that Dad hides something big and crucial to me.

"Did the family of my mom's friend know about this?" I asked concerned about what will Abbi feel upon hearing this. "No, we cover that up..." Hindi nakapagpatuloy si Dad sa kaniyang pagsasalita because I let out a curse. "WHAT THE F*CK DAD" Dali daling tumakbo si Stella sa direksiyon namin and she is obviously concerned about us raising our voices. "What happened here? Is there a problem?" napaupo nalang ako sa sofa and I didn't even bother answering Stella's questions. "I already send them home" Stella added referring to Abbi, Nikka and her mom.

"I know I'm at fault son, but I promise I will fixed this. Even if it's late, I'll inform the family..." Dad didn't even finished what he'd like to say because I already interrupted in a strong voice. "That woman dad, that dearest friend is Abbi's mom. AND TELLING THEM THE TRUTH WILL WORSEN ABBI'S CONDITION" napahinto si Dad sa narinig niya. He didn't even know that my mom's friend was actually Abbi's mom.

We heard a sudden drop of a glass kaya napalingon kami kaagad sa pintuan and I saw Abbi there. She is standing at the door while her tears started to fall slowly into her cheeks. "T-tama ba ang n-narinig ko Xavier?" She said in a shaky and nervous voice. Tumakbo ako palapit sa kaniya but before I could even hold her, she started to hyperventilate. She breathe hardly as she can trying to catch some air pero nahihirapan na talaga siyang huminga. "F*CK, CALL AN AMBULANCE FASTER!" Stella grab her phone on her pocket while her hands are shaking.

"Go get the car" sabi naman ni Dad as he ask our family driver to ready the car for us. Nagsitakbuhan sina Nikka and her mom sa direksiyon namin and both of them started to panic as they saw Abbi catching her breathe. "Just breathe Abbi, just breathe" I assured her as I tightened my grasp to her. She started to get pale and her hands become cold. The car was ready and agad ko naman binuhat si Abbi. I ran as fast as I can, put Abbi in the front seat and drive as fast as I can. I heard everyone shouting at me at the background but I didn't even take a glance at them. She need an immediate attention.

Mabilis akong nagpatakbo ng sasakyan. I can even feel my hands started to shake pero nilakasan ko lamang ang loob ko because I know that Abbi needed me at this very moment. When we arrived at the hospital, I call the doctor immediately and they assisted us. Ipinasok si Abbi sa emergency room and the doctor stop me from entering the room. I sat down at the nearest waiting chairs, frustrated, I grab my hair and silently shout. Why did she even listened to that conversation? I heard some footsteps and I saw Nikka, her mom, and my parents are running towards my direction.

"Okay lang ba si Abbi, Xav?" She asked, worried that something bad might happen to her. Hindi ako umimik kaya she became restless and her mom calm her up. Lumapit sa akin si Dad and Stella. Stella wrap her shoulders around me and she started to cry slowly. "I'm sorry son, this is all my fault" Dad said to me as he tap my shoulders gently. After several minutes, the doctor from the emergency room approached us. Nagsitayuan kaming lahat and we are nervous about what we are going to hear from him.

"She's stable now" I heard a relief from them. "But, her case become worser. The hole in her heart became bigger and she need an immediate treatment for that or else it will be too late" the Doctor said. Umiyak ng malakas si Nikka and her mom also shed a tear upon hearing the Doctor's statement. "You know what Nikka, her grandparents should know this. They should know" Nikka's mom said as she wiped her tears slowly.

I grab my phone on my pocket and dialed the Doctor Tan's number. He hurriedly picked up and so I started the conversation. "Doc, I really need Abbi to undergo surgery as soon as possible" I commanded and the doctor started to asked about Abbi's status and what would be the options for the surgery. "I don't know much about this, but I want her. I want her to be okay, so so bad" I said as I started to cry.

I c-can't lose her. Hindi ko kaya. I don't have the strength to wake up everyday without seeing her. I cried heavily as Stella slowly tap my back to comfort me. She made me a completely different person. She taught me a lot of things and I can definitely see my future with her.

I want us to build our own family. To have our own kids and to live as happily as we want to be. I want her to do all the things that will make her happy for the rest of her life.

"I'm so sorry son" I heard from my Dad and he gave me a firm hug. The hallway was silent but it was filled with the sounds of our cries. I know I've been too bad and I've been living a trashy life for years but I should be the one to be punished not her. I should be the one suffering. Because I f*cking drag her into my messy life I should be the one who should be experiencing all of her pain.