Autumn of May

CHAPTER 43: The Last Leaf

I entered the room and it was so cold. Ibinaba ko ang mga dala kong pagkain sa couch and I walk closer to Abbi. The moment I touched her, she's cold. Agad akong napatingin sa monitor and there I saw her status. Her heart is barely beating. Nagsimula akong magpanic and I hurriedly pressed the emergency bell. "Abbi, wake up. Don't joke to me like that" I said while nervously shaking.

Hindi siya gumalaw kaya I started to cry. "Abbi please. Huwag kang magbiro ng ganyan" I continue crying while shaking her to wake up. The door banged open and I saw Xavier running towards the bed. He hugged Abbi and shake her off trying to wake her up. "Abbi baby, please wake up" he said. "She's not waking up Xavier" I said habang nanginginig na sa kaba. Pumasok sa loob ang mga doctor and nurses and they prepared to revive Abbi. She's still has a pulse but it's very weak.

"Please fight Abbi, please" I said as my tears fall down into my cheeks. "Please..." I cried. Xavier is silently crying on my side. He felt very nervous and uneasy. He dialed some numbers on his phone and walk back and forth. The monitor started beeping again kaya nakahinga ako ng maluwag. Abbi's condition is stable but she's still unconscious. Lumapit kami sa doctor and the doctor explained what happened, "She had quite a mild attack last night. It was a type of silent attack, that's why we didn't see any symptoms from the patient but right now, sadly, her heart is weak and we need to perform a surgery as soon as possible" lumingon kaagad ako kay Xavier at lumapit.

"Can we do the surgery right away? Natatakot na ako Xav" I said while I'm pulling her long sleeves up and down. My tears are still falling in my cheeks nonstop. Dumating naman si Kris at Steve and Steve hurriedly walk towards me and asked me if I'm okay. He wiped my tears and give me a half hug. "Everything will be okay" he comforted me. Kris and Xavier have a deep conversation. Nakatingin lang ako kay Abbi while she is lying unconscious on the bed at pinapaligiran ng mga doctor at nurses. Please naman Abbi, lumaban ka. I tried to communicate with her using my mind as if na makarating talaga iyon sa kaniya.

Pumasok si Kris at Xavier sa loob and kinausap nila ang doctor. It was a very long talk. Marami kasing dapat isaalang-alang, especially the risks and the benefits. After some minutes of discussion, doctors and nurses came to the room and they are preparing to transport Abbi to the emergency room. Gusto ko sanang sumama sa kanila pero hindi kami pinayagan ng Doctor. Kris entered the emergency room kasama ng iba pang doctor. Before he even closes the door, he give me a comforting smile trying to convince me that everything will be alright.

Nagmamadaling dumating sina Steve, Mom, and Abbi's grandparents. I'm sure Xavier informed them about the situation. Abbi's grandparents are restless and they are quietly praying while holding back their tears. "It's okay" Steve softly whispered to my ears as he carefully wrapped his arms into mine. "Steve.... *sob* natatakot ako...." I said in between my tears. "I know she can survive this. She's strong" Steve said and those words comforted me a little. I know Abbi ever since we were kids and I know how strong she is.

We waited for like an hour pagkatapos ay lumabas na ang mga doctor mula sa emergency room. One doctor take off his mask and started speaking, "We're very sorry..." Hindi paman siya natapos sa pagsasalita ay umiyak na ako ng umiyak. No... this is not true. Halos matumba na ako sa kakaiyak and even Steve's tears are falling down continuously. Xavier ran towards the emergency room. Nabangga pa niya ang mga doctor at nurses dahil sa pagmamadali but he didn't even care. He ran as fast as he could to confirm if totoo ba ang naririnig namin mula sa mga doctor.

"Abbi's gone, honey" my mom told me as she wrap her hands to give me a tight hug. I shook my head hardly, "No... no.. mom. It's not true" I said in between my tears. Umiyak ang grandparents ni Abbi which made me even sadder and the stabbing pain that I'm feeling right now becomes more apparent and becomes deeper than it could have. I can't imagine how tomorrow will be without her. She's my only friend. My sister. The hallway of the hospital was filled with our cries. We never let silence happen, it was all filled with tears of pain and heartaches.

I'm not sure that this day will come to me, to all of us. We are not that prepared. No one was ever prepared.

May lumapit sa aming nurse and she handed me some folded papers. Without even that much strength, I accepted the papers and found a folded one with my name written on it. It was Abbi's penmanship. Even that the throbbing pain was still present, I gather some strength to open it up and read what was inside.

To Nikka,

I know that I'll be away this time if you happen to read this letter. I don't want to leave you without any permission, that's why I am writing this letter to you. Nikka, beyond everything else in this world, to you and I super thankful. For simple reason, thank you for existing.

Your existence completed my broken soul. You offered me a friendship that I will forever treasure in my life. You offered me a family that for all of my days in this lifetime, I have a family that loves me for all I am, supported me for everything that I do, and always there for me when I needed your presence the most. Nikka, salamat. Maraming, maraming salamat sa lahat. Hindi ko maisa-isa lahat ng rason kung bakit kita pinasasalamatan pero maraming salamat talaga sa lahat.

Alam ko na umiiyak ka ngayon ng sobra sobra, alam ko iyon dahil palaiyakin ka. Niks, mayroon lang sana akong hiling. I always wished for you to find a boyfriend but this time, my only wish is that I hope you will not cry that hard when I'm gone and I hope you'll find happiness as you paved your path in the future. Gusto ko na masaya ka, masaya kayo. I don't want any sad letters or messages. I don't want any sad songs playing. I don't want any sad memories before I'll be traveling away for some time. Nakuha mo ba iyon Nikka? This is my last bucket list, I hope matupad din natin ito.

Alagaan mo ang iyong sarili palagi ha? Huwag kang mag-alala, simula ngayon hindi na ako mawawala sa iyo and I'll be here for you no matter what or no matter where you'll be. I love you Niks. Sa susunod ulit nating pagkikita.

Love,
Abbi

Mas lalong tumulo ang luha sa aking mga mata. Niyakap ko ang sulat na binigay niya sa akin at umiyak ng umiyak. Sana panaginip lang lahat ng ito. I hope this is all just a dream and I'll just woke up from this very bad dream.