1437 - I Love You Forever

21.

(Jagadita)

—

Giandra Argani never stopped surprising me. Like this morning when I woke up, she had appeared in the pantry complete with a white shirt—which I was one hundred percent sure was my shirt—and the same pair of trousers she was wearing yesterday.

"I'm sorry for taking your shirt, but I swear I really forgot that I had to go to the ministry this morning and I couldn't possibly wear a t-shirt. Bisa diusir." She walked past me and brought the smell of tobacco mixed with vanilla, which was too thick for my nose. Her hands were busy tucking in her hair before she told me that she had made breakfast for me earlier. "I'm not sure about the taste, but it surely makes you full this morning. I'll go first."

"Nggak mau diantar?"

She shook her head quickly. "Not today, Oom Erick, bisa ngamuk kalau saya telat."

I held my breath for a second before laughing out loud. I had to think about the joke for a while. I didn't know, but it felt like being stuck in a shareholder board meeting of the foundation and having one of them start telling bapak-bapak jokes. However, I could say that this time, my laughter felt different and was more sincere.

"Okay then, see you, I guess."

Gian smiled as she hurriedly opened the door. "See you,"

I'm sorry to disappoint you if you were hoping for a cute scenario between Gian and me yesterday. Instead, we practically stayed up the entire night talking about things that had never occurred to me, but she ultimately got me to think about them too.

Like when she suddenly asked the reason why she enjoyed collecting playlists from different people, which caused me to merely shook my head foolishly.

"Because all the music is not my choice, it won't trigger the same memories about anything."

"And anyone?"

"Exactly!" she laughed.

I was laughing as well, without realizing it.

That went on all night, and I didn't mind at all. Wimar often said that I rarely laugh if the conversation wasn't really funny. I was not one for small talk and am not talkative. As a self-aware person, I agreed with it all. But Gian could make even our most casual conversations enjoyable. I didn't want to seem corny, but just thought about it: which woman suddenly started chatting about everything from the history of Hitler's taster to the number of calories in each type of liquor?

"Johnny Walker whiskey and vodka are the best." She said. "Only 55 calories per shot. If you wanted to ask a girl out to dinner while downing a couple shots of liquor, it would be your best option."

Who did you want me to have dinner with? Even my father asked me to go with you.

I shook my head slowly while eating a piece of sandwich she had made. Despite the fact that she was older than me, she never came across to me as a mature person. She never attempted to impose her 32-year-old ideas on our discussion.

It was undeniable that after talking to Haira, Agni, and Bria in secret a few days ago and spent time with this girl last night, I became more curious about her.

I licked my fingertips.

But did I like her? I was not sure, either.

*****

Gian didn't like surprises. That was what I noticed when I unexpectedly showed up at the ministry this afternoon carrying a take-away meal bag from a fast-food restaurant.

Her eyebrows knitted as she got into my car. And I could see that she was eagerly glancing at me, as I could tell in her eyes.

"Don't you have any schedule today?"

I shook my head.

"You're hungry, right?" I placed the yellow-accented brown paper bundle on her lap. "Suguhan meeting di kementrian kan cuma buah-buahan."

"Kok kamu tahu?"

"Tahu aja." I took a glance at her. "But don't eat fast food too often, OK?"

"How did you know that I had finished at this time?"

"Satya told me."

She cleared her throat. "You went to the office to meet him?"

I shook my phone. "I called him."

She just nodded and stuffed a piece of potato into her mouth.

"Aren't you eating?"

"I had it earlier." I answered while looking at the road in front of me, which I was hoping would suddenly double in length so that I could spend more time with her.

Gian's hair was loosely pulled up; it almost appears messy. But she always offered justifications for me to praise her. "You look good in that shirt."

"This is yours."

"Just keep it. As a gift." I turned the steering wheel slowly. "It was sealed when you took it from my closet."

She chuckled. "Killjoys."

I laughed.

When she turned her body to face me, there was a scent that I always smelled every time we met.

"What kind of perfume do you wear?" Finally, I could ask her about the scent.

"Oh?" She smelled the hem of her collar. "This is my favorite perfume."

"It's kind of strong for a woman's scent. It has strong tobacco in it, but still, it's sweet.." I added.

"Tobacco Vanille."

"Pardon?"

"That's the name of the perfume," she chuckled. "Tobacco Vanille."

I was aware that I couldn't entirely understand the girl in front of me. Even so, it was only been two weeks since we first met. But it felt like everything she did made an impression on me.

"Gian."

"Hmm?"

The suave and smoldering scent of her perfume reminds me of a rich tobacco bouquet with creamy, cocoa butter-like vanilla and unexpected accents of dried fruits. It was compulsive, and I could almost feel my body exploding with dopamine. But I was completely sober and could say whatever I wanted to say now.

"Why do you feel unworthy of liking me?" I swear to death. I felt like half of my life was gone when I said this. "Like in the romantic way."

She looked at me.

"Jagadita."

"Yes?"

"Welfare of the World."

"And why are you suddenly talking about my name?"

"Because the name describes you well. As a doctor, you make the world prosperous."

"Your name, Giandra, also means something peaceful in prosperity. What's the difference?"

"The name that follows after."

I blinked and was suddenly silenced by her words just now. There were no further words exchanged between us. Not even a single song from my typical playlist was playing. Only the radio announcer's voice could be heard reading the promotional material.

"Jagad."

I clenched my hold on the steering wheel and made a valiant effort not to react when I heard her utter my name again without the word 'doctor' in front of it.

"I apologize, but that distinction is too far away. Just like me and you."

As soon as she was done speaking, the jammed road, the sudden downpour, and this trip all seemed less delightful than before.

I could feel her hands slowly cupping my face. How her fingertips stroke my jawbone, how warm her skin landed on mine, and how she mapped my face before she touched the tip of my nose with her forefinger.

"You're just too enthralling for a mere woman like me."