1437 - I Love You Forever

31.

— TW // Mentioning traffic accidents
— TW // Mentioning death

*****

(Jagadita)

—

"How long was the hyperventilation?"

"I didn't count, but she was in shock." Jendra squeezed his fingers several times. "Is she going to be okay?"

"We'll see; now let her rest first, okay?"

I felt like my joints were sliding out of place and my legs were losing strength when I remembered what happened just now.

"Mas? How's Giandra?" Mama gripped my arm tightly. She knew that I was not okay at all.

I could see the blue medical gown she was wearing, and her hair was still neatly wrapped in her surgeon's cap.

"How's Satya?"

"Mas?"

I didn't give any answers.

"He's going to be fine; I just finished my procedure, and Wimar is performing surgery on him now." Mama took a deep breath before giving me an answer. My habit never went away. Waiting for the answer to my question before answering other people's questions.

"She's there with the doctor."

"What did the doctor say?"

I just shook my head. It was hard for me to process what just happened. I only remembered Jendra panicking over Giandra.

Mama suddenly embraced me tightly. She occasionally stroked my back with her hand.

"I am sorry this happened to you, Mas."

But, Ma, it's Gian who's hurt.

"I know you hate this kind of moment, and you need more than sanity to face it." Mama rubbed my back again.

Ah, I see.

Mama knew how people who were on the verge of death injure every inch of my memory because of the condition of my late mother.

"I'm fine, Ma." I returned her hug. My hands were shaking so badly, and I didn't have much power to cover it up.

"No, you're not, Nak." Mama stroked my cheek gently. "You think you'll be fine?"

"I don't know. You think she'll be fine?"

She nodded. "She is in the right hand. She'll be fine."

I was dying to hold back my tears so they wouldn't all spill out. I bit the inside of my cheek several times before letting out rough breaths.

Mama gave me a smile as she tenderly kissed and patted my cheek. "You're doing great, Mas. I need to go now. I have another surgery to do."

"Thank you." I softly replied and asked her to do her job again.

I tightened my fist. Frantically trying to stay there in the center of an overpoweringly scented mixture of carbolic and substance scents.

"Gad."

"Yes?" Haira's voice was like a hammer hitting my head until I returned to reality.

"Giandra will be moved to a room. Do you want to come along?"

"Oh." I only managed to say that before shaking my head. "You go. I'll be waiting in the lobby."

Haira nodded. Didn't ask anything; didn't force anything. She just rushed to fill out several forms, while I could only see Giandra being moved using a gurney. And to be honest, I didn't like the rattling sound that comes from the friction of the wheels on the hospital floor.