1437 - I Love You Forever

22.

"Terus gimana?"

"I feel like dying, Jen. I'm so embarrassed."

"Yaelaah, Jagadita Andaru cupu amat?" Jendra gave my head a pat while laughing.

"But that's good, right? Finally, Mbak Andra has taught you about her perspective."

I saw Wimar. "Putus lu, sama Agni."

"APA SIH ANJIR!?"

Jendra erupted in laughter at my antics. Plus Wimar, who kept protesting because he didn't do anything wrong but became the target of my annoyance, I didn't know. I didn't understand. But today I had no enthusiasm for work. I even left Gian's chat for almost five hours.

Giandra Argani
Are you mad?
10.19

I really wanted to go home and hug Mama while crying. I swear to God. I never felt this humiliated after asking someone a question before. But yesterday's episode with Gian truly made me feel awkward and lose my cool.

No.

I didn't confess to Gian, and neither did she reject me. She only answered me using explanations of facts that have never appeared as variables in my life.

"You're just too enthralling for a mere woman like me."

"What do you mean?"

I could still feel her hands encircling every inch of my face up to the point at which Gian decided to cross her arm.

"Your visuals are top-notch. I know not a few people who want you to be their son-in-law or their daughter's boyfriend."

"Then? "

"I am not a conglomerate. And I have to know myself well enough to respond to your prior question."

I sighed.

"But you do recall what Haira said, right? Even though I finally like you, it's me who likes you, not my status."

"Jagad, listen to me."

I gasped. At that time, I understood that she wasn't only responding to what I said. She meant everything completely.

"Okay, listen to me. Simply lead your own life. Consider me a stranger you met on the street. Let's keep the idea that we are simply simple coworkers."

"But—,"

"Please?" She was giving me a look that I couldn't figure out how to interpret. "We're not at Disney, Jagadita Andaru."

I had mixed feelings when yesterday's incident resurfaced in my brain. I was not hurt, but I felt humiliated since I never considered that certain variables would vanish if one of us were to be extremely foolish and unconcerned with what others might think.

At least in my life, as this shit called conglomerate.

"But do you like her, Mas?" Wimar saw me while sipping his coffee.

I shook my head.

"You don't like her?"

"I like her."

"In a romantic way?"

"I don't know." I felt my throat suddenly dry because I didn't know what to do anymore.

"But I'm also confused, Mas." Wimar took a deep breath. "The problem is that we ourselves don't understand the reason why Mbak Andra has those kinds of thoughts."