Your mom was never there.
Is that why you never leave?
You had an unstable childhood,
But you take it out on me.
You cry every day.
It makes me feel so bad.
I don't know why I'm never enough!
Am I the reason you're so sad?
You always scream and yell!
Always quick to rage.
Is there something I can change?
What did I do to make you this way?!
Tell me please!
I need an answer.
I don't want to live like this.
I can't stand it!
I can't fight it!
It makes me feel so sick.
What am I supposed to do
with this tangle of emotions inside?
You try so hard, but you always give up,
but you have never not tried!!
I'm so confused, conflicted, torn,
I'm not sure what to do.
I'm not sure how to think or feel,
I want to be far from you.
I just need these moments to myself
with nothing to clutter my head.
And I'm so very worried if I don't get that soon
I will end up dead.
How can I spend everyday fighting you
when I never fight at all?
But you've conditioned me to be quiet,
What I say you don't recall.
There so much more left here to say
but I'll never have the time.
I live in constant fear you'll find my words
and leave me behind.
I hate you!
The words I wish so desperately I could mean.
But I don't hate you at all, far from it,
I love you, don't you see?
I'm torn between leaving and staying
and I'm not sure which would be best.
So I'll put on an smile and play pretend,
Stop the bleeding great in my chest.
YOU ARE READING
Not me. (2023)
Short Storyso, I've been struggling for a long time now, and I never told anyone about it. I've never opened up. but I met someone who understands how I feel, and I'm beginning to feel again. I don't know how to do it, but I finally feel I can fight. I've been...
