Will She Be Like This Forever?

Chapter 4

Though I handled the wood, I still worship the flame.

Hozier

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*Monday 11th January 2021*

My first day back at training officially.

33 days until my health check for the Lionesses.

35 days until England training starts.

15 Arsenal training sessions left.

Time was moving by very slowly, having not been at training officially in a long time, but today was my first day back. The first day where I didn't have Katie telling me what I could and couldn't do. That was all up to Jonas now. Today's training was meant to be calm, just to ease me back in, but I didn't want easy. I didn't want everyone pitying me.

None of the girls know about what happened, and I want to keep it that way. Leah still tried to get me to tell her some parts, but I won't tell her. She asks me how and why Katie and I are so close; I don't tell her. Sometimes she even comes round to Katie and Ruesha's house on a night, which is apparently normal and not just because of me, and when she sees me, she acts all confused. She definitely knows I live there; she just won't ask me or Katie about it.

I was the first one awake today, so I decided to go downstairs and cook breakfast for everyone. I started cooking the pancakes as Ruesha walked down the stairs. "Oooh, I knew I could smell something. What are you making?" she said in her slight Irish accent. "Oh, just pancakes, I know you and Katie like them so I thought I would make us all some before training." she walked over to help me, but I pushed her away, telling her to go and sit on the couch and wait.

Katie had joined us soon after and I placed the large stack of pancakes on the table in the dining room and placed all the toppings next to it. We devoured the stack of pancakes before Katie and Ruesha went to get changed for training, me following suit after I had put all the dishes in the dishwasher.

I've become so much better at eating these past few weeks, I think it's because I know I need the strength. I've also been working out in the gym while the girls train, however, Katie made sure I had someone with me at all times. May that be one of the girls, herself, or even a physio, just making sure I didn't get hurt.

I walked up the stairs and got changed quickly, now in my own room which Katie was in the process of decorating. She asked me what my favourite colour was, and I immediately said emerald green, which set her off on a mission to find emerald green bedsheets and green things for my room.

Katie and Rue always looked after me, despite Ruesha still not knowing the full story. I walked back downstairs as Ruesha was getting in her car, I grabbed my boots and ran outside, hugging her goodbye.

Me and Katie drove to the ground, not in silence, but we weren't talking loads. It was a comfortable silence though, as we sang songs and laughed at how bad we were at actually singing. We arrived at the ground, and I quickly got changed before meeting everyone outside. "Lauren! 2 laps! You're two minutes late!" Jonas shouted, I replied to him almost immediately. "What about Katie?" I shouted as I started to run. "I need to talk to her." he shouted back. Oh shit. I wonder what about. I started running as I saw all the other girls start to warm up, all but Katie and Leah, who walked away with Jonas.

After my two laps I walked over to Viv and Beth, who I knew couldn't keep a secret. "What's that about?" I asked, pointing to Katie and Leah who were just coming back, Katie looking defeated. "Oh, apparently Leah found something out about Katie and her life at home and needed to tell Jonas and now I think Katie is in trouble." Me. It had to be about me. Nothing else was happening. I would know.