Will She Be Like This Forever?

Chapter 77

You brought me calm, and I brought you thunder, mm

You stopped the panic when I got lost in the storm, oh

And now I feel the waves crashin' over me

It's so hard to breathe, I just need you here

James Arthur

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Monday 25th July 2022

Oh, this is different...

"Have you told Mapi yet?" Lucy whispered as I walked downstairs to breakfast. "No, I still haven't. Can you drop this? I don't want to talk about it." I spoke back and she nodded, just holding my hand as Ellie and Keira caught up with us.

It was only 5am, and if I have any more talk about what I told her, I will go psycho. We had a conversation yesterday about it; a genuine conversation where I told her how long I had been thinking about it, when and where it was happening and how I wanted it to happen. She said she would be there for me, but I needed to tell my parents and Mapi, but I decided against that. It's something I need to do on my own until I know I'm fully... pregnant.

Today was an early day as it was travel day and we were setting off at 8am on the dot. We all woke up early so we could fill up on breakfast and shower, get ready, pack, before we had to go to our hotel. Tomorrow, we are versing Sweden as Germany knocked them out, and I was kind of worried. I was versing both Frido and Stina, and they are two really good friends of mine, more so Fridolina. She was the one person who I could properly feel myself around in Barca, despite being closer to Tana, Mapi, and Alexia.

We all sat down and ate our pancakes, mine with Nutella and raspberries, as Lucy sat next to me. "Did you and Lucy have a good chat yesterday? You were in her room most of the day. What did you do?" Leah laughed. "Oh, we just watched movies really, and had a nap." I giggled. "And no one was allowed in? Not even Keira?" she asked again. "We just wanted it to be just us... just having a day with us two." Lucy added in and I nodded, holding her hand under the table.

We all talked and got ourselves a little awake before we went up to our rooms getting showered and packed for the hotel trip tonight and tomorrow night. "Are you... okay?" Ell asked while I was showering, and she was brushing her teeth. "Yeah, are you?" I replied, washing the shampoo out of my hair. "No. I'm a little... worried about you." she spoke honestly. "Why, babe? There's no reason to be." I chuckled. "You and Lucy have a secret. Is there something I should know about?" she whispered, looking straight at me. "It's nothing important, love. Come here." I smiled and she walked over to me. I kissed her cheek and she smiled, going back to what she was doing.

I'm so sorry Ellie.

I finished my shower at around 7am, and quickly got out, putting on my tracksuit and starting to pack my bag. Ellie had already packed and was sat on my bed, laid on her front and watching me on the floor, packing. "Whattt?" I laughed. "Nothing. I just... yeah, nothing." she whispered, putting her head down. I turned around to look at her. "You really want to know, don't you?" I asked and she nodded.

"Right. I'll tell you because you're my best friend; the person I love the most. The only thing is, I know you will talk me out of it, which is why I didn't tell you. I haven't told anyone except Lucy and that is because she was acting really weird around me." I chuckled. "Tell me." she whispered. I told her to grab my laptop and type in my password, which she didn't know so I told her. As soon as she opened it, she saw the tab. "Erm?" she whispered. "It's exactly what you think." I replied. She closed my laptop and tapped my bed once I zipped my bag up.