Will She Be Like This Forever?

Chapter 87

Scattered 'cross my family line

I'm so good at telling lies

That came from my mother's side

Told a million to survive

Scattered across my family line

God, I have my father's eyes

But my sister's when I cry

I can run, but I can't hide

From my family line

Conan Gray

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Wednesday 10th August 2022

This is no dream.

Waking up today felt... wrong. It felt different. I didn't like the way I felt when I woke up this morning, and I don't know why. Everything in my body felt off, felt weird, and I hated it. I felt sad, confused, angry, all the bad emotions flooded through me like no tomorrow, so I decided to do the only thing I could think of, and call Mapi. She can help me... surely?

Mapi🌹

Hey? What's up? It's super early.

Is it?

It's 5am your time. Why are you up?

I... don't know.

What's wrong, nena?

I also don't know.

Tell me what you're feeling, come on. I'm listening.

I felt guilty now.

You can go back to sleep.

No no. I'm awake now. Tell me. What is going on?

I... I feel sad?

Why do you feel sad?

I took a big deep breath.

I don't know...

Are you feeling anything else?

Confused, angry, annoyed, sick.

Sick as in physically?

No...

Mentally?

Yeah.

Okay tell me. What's going through your head?

I woke up and it's just... this is all I can feel. I can't move properly but I know I physically could get up if I wanted to... I don't want to. I just... I feel so shit, Mapi.

I started crying.

Hey. Facetime me.

*facetiming Mapi🌹*

Hey pretty. Don't cry.

I... can't help it.

That's okay. It's okay. I'm here, okay? Can you tell me what's going on?