Will She Be Like This Forever?

Chapter 79

Any place is better

Starting from zero, got nothing to lose

Maybe we'll make something

Me, myself, I got nothing to prove

Tracy Chapman

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Saturday 30th July 2022.

2 days. Just two days.

I woke up at 3am this morning, ready to puke my guts up. I was staying in a room by myself in this hotel, which confused Ellie a lot as normally I stay with her, but she is VERY good at sussing out things and putting pieces together. I also wanted to have my new baby on display, and I knew that if she was here, she would see, then ask, then it would all be a big thing and she would tell me to not play in the final - I needed to play in the final.

I ran to the bathroom, being sick and holding my stomach as it felt really funny. I stayed there for about 10 minutes, just trying to calm myself down and remember that this is a good thing. No matter if I puke, feel gross, this... THIS baby is a good thing, and I'm so blessed to have it.

I made my way back to my bed, getting back in but I really couldn't get back to sleep. I decided to see if anyone was up downstairs, even though I knew they would not be. I walked into the common room and saw it all dark and... alone. I hated being alone, but I had no one to message.

I went on Instagram and scrolled through, liking posts that I haven't seen yet, when I saw Aitana with her little active icon at the top.

Aitanabonmati: active

What you doing awake?

What are YOU doing awake?

I asked firstttt.

Couldn't sleep, well, I had a nap yesterday when I came back so my body physically can't sleep, what about you?

Nerves I think.

Lies...

You'll be great, mi novia, just try and get back to sleep until you actually need to wake up please x

You too, Tana. Can't have you tired all day while Mapi is aloneeee. I need you to look after her ahaha x

I will, I do... don't worry about her. She's good, she's great... she's missing you... we all are.

I miss you too, and her... mostly her 😂

That's so mean... but understandable 😂

Go to sleep, Mi Novia pleaseeee x

Okay, okay. You too. Have a good day x

You too x

I put my phone back in my pocket and turned on the TV, hoping there was some interesting thing on. I found a really old episode of Emmerdale that was replaying, so I sat and watched that as I tried to not feel what was happening in my stomach; not like I could feel it anyway as it is only 3 weeks along, but when you know something is happening, you feel everything.

"I had a feeling you were awake. What are you doing up?" Leah whispered, coming to sit next to me. "Nervous. I've never been this nervous before." I smiled, looking at her for a second. "Yeah, it is scary. The final of the European Championships... a euros in our home... and we are going to win it... it feels amazing." she whispered. "Yeah, it does." I replied, going back to watching the TV.