Will She Be Like This Forever?

Chapter 69

It's my BORFDAYYYYYY! Happy birthday to me! xx

This chapter is a little sad and troubling for a birthday post, I apologise...

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When did it end? All the enjoyment

I'm sad again, don't tell my boyfriend

It's not what he's made for

What was I made for?

Billie Eilish

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Thursday 23rd June 2022

Not my day.

You know how amazing it is waking up in the morning to remember that you are playing for your country? YOUR COUNTRY! It's a dream... that turned into a reality.

Remember when Katie found me running on the treadmill and I was thinking about running across the Wembley pitch while I played for England? When we get to the final... I will be doing that...

I woke up at 8:30 this morning unintentionally. Normally I wake up somewhere between half 5 and half 6... but I just couldn't wake up today.

"Lozzy, babe. Wake up." Leah smiled as she walked into my room, sitting on my bed. "I've tried that." Esme laughed, sitting on her bed. "Go down to breakfast. I'll get her up." Leah smiled and Esme walked out of the room.

Leah sat next to me on my bed, but I still didn't wake up. "Babe." Leah spoke, grabbing my hand, but nothing. "Laurennnn. Are you dead?" She giggled... still nothing. It got to the point where she actually checked my pulse.

She messaged Millie to come and get me as Millie could pick me up easily, and she picked me up and carried me downstairs, hoping I would wake up on the way... I didn't.

"Why is she so out of it?" Ellie asked Esme but she shrugged. "What time did she sleep...?" Leah asked. "Literally like half 10. She got in, showered, and went straight to sleep... didn't say a word to me other than 'goodnight'... so she shouldn't be too tired." Esme commented. "No call to Mapi?" Lucy chimed in and Esme shook her head. "What the fuck..." Keira spoke, eating her breakfast.

"Lauren you actually need to wake up now." Millie shook me and I startled awake, sitting on her lap. "Get off!" I semi shouted, and she opened her arms for me to get up. I walked out of the room and back upstairs to my room, closing the door again. I didn't sleep, I just sat on the bed.

"Rennnyyyyy." Ellie knocked, walking in a second later. "Hey El." I opened my arms, and she hugged me. "What did you dream off?" She asked, confused. "What do I do if my dad comes?" I whispered. "Chuck on your tracksuit and come with me." She spoke and I nodded, grabbing my tracksuit and new underwear, and getting changed in front of Ellie.

We walked downstairs and went into Sarina's office, sitting down in front of her.

"Hellooooo. What can I do for you?" She smiled. "Lauren needs to ask you a question. I don't really know the answer, just what I would do." Ellie smiled, grabbing my hand. "Go on?"

"Remember how my first game, I had a little panic attack because there was a man there and he made me scared?" I asked and she nodded. "That's my dad... and I'm scared of him. What do I do if he comes to a game?" I whispered, looking at the table instead of Sarina.