Will She Be Like This Forever?

Chapter 10

I know what you're scared of

I used to feel it too.

You're not scared of climbing mountains.

You're scared that you can't make them move.

Lucy Spraggan

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Monday, 19th April 2021

I'm back bitches!

I woke up in the best mood, honestly, knowing I was back at training. It was one of the best feelings ever. Yes, I have been there for a few sessions, but Katie was too worried about me to let me do anything too physical – which made sense considering I hadn't eaten properly for ages.

But that's all changed now. I am eating, gaining strength, forgetting about everything but football. Football was my life. Nothing else. No one else. Just football. Without football, I am nothing. I felt so empty.

I quickly got showered, playing music from my Bluetooth speaker. Some good tunes like; Seventeen Going Under, Better Than Revenge, and River Deep, Mountain High. All bangers in my opinion. I jumped out of the shower and started on my skincare; I'm fully taking care of myself now ahaha. I got dressed in my Arsenal jumper and shorts before packing my training bag, my training clothes, my boots, and a spare shirt for after when I'm all sweaty – along with deodorant.

I quickly did my hair in a low ponytail before brushing out my lashes, which I actually needed to get re-done in about a week – Millie said she would take me again, so she better hurry up and stop having a busy schedule. I'm more important. Duh.

I walked downstairs, being greeted by Rue and Katie stood in the kitchen, dishing up some eggs and soldiers. "Oh my gosh! Dippy eggs!" I was so excited. "I made you some." Ruesha smiled at me before handing me my plate. You best believe I ate that shit right up. The best.

We left the house about 20 minutes later and started our drive to the grounds. We were one of the first people there, except for Leah and Jordan. I walked into the bathroom and just looked in the mirror, thinking about the last time I truly looked at myself in this mirror, back when I was training at 6am, covering bruises. Just as I was thinking about it, Katie walked in.

"Remember the last time I came in while you were looking at that mirror?" she asked, wrapping her arms around me. "Yeah, I was just thinking about that. Back when you thought it was a hickey on my neck." I laughed but Katie's face dropped.

"No baby, I didn't. I knew what it was. We all did. We just had no proof so we couldn't do anything. But you don't have to worry about that now. You are safe." she whispered before hugging me tighter. I will forever be grateful for her.

We walked out hand in hand to be greeted by basically all the girls now. Jonas had saw me and pulled me to the front. Oh gosh here we go – one of Jonas' special speeches.

"So, as we are all aware, Lauren was out for a while. But here she is, in the flesh, and training fully today. And don't think I'll be going easy on you all because it's her first day back; you're all going to be crying in pain once it's done!" he chuckled "No but honestly, we are, and I am, so glad you're back Lauren. We missed your energy on the pitch, and off the pitch. I, probably not the other girls, missed you pushing everyone to their highest abilities, and despite being the youngest, you were definitely one of the most mature and hardworking. I will thank you a million times for that. For getting Beth and Jordan in line when they're mucking about, to helping Leah with training. All of it. We missed you, Loz." he hugged me as he finished, and all the girls clapped. Beth even whistled – weirdo.