Will She Be Like This Forever?

Chapter 94

I could follow you to the beginning

Just to relive the start

And maybe then we'd remember to slow down

At all of our favourite parts

Paramore

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Friday 19th August 2022.

So Unbelievably Guilty.

When I came home yesterday, I sat on the couch for about 5 minutes, resting my knee on the table before Ellie came up to me. "Hey baby. I'm sorry I wasn't there. How did it go? I wanted to make sure your bedroom was tidy and comfortable, and I got you snacks, and I bought you some thi-" I got up and went upstairs to my room. I didn't want to hear how she's tried to make everything more 'comfortable' for me.

I didn't want to hear it at all.

I immediately grabbed my phone out and messaged Rory to find some comfort there...

Aurora💊

Heyyyy! Now a good time to talk? X

Missing me already, Loz... wowwwww. I must be special x

You think that, love. I just wanted to escape reality for a moment. How are youuu? What are you doinggg?

I'm fineee. It's so boring being stuck in here with no one. I think I'm going insane. You should come and visit me every day until I'm out.

I'll try get the same physio times as you, okay? I have the first few days doing physio at the hospital but then I'm back home sooo... I'll still see you for the next 3 days... maybe...

You better. I'm actually so lonely... anyway... how come you're trying to escape reality? X

Everyone's just so... here. I don't know if that makes sense... x

Of course, it does. You want to be with people, but you don't want people to BE there? X

That's exactly it. I want to be able to sit downstairs with my family without them taking absolute pity on me, but we both know that ain't happening. X

Definitely not... I'll still be here if you need to message me, but I need lunch... I'm sooo hungry x

Go have some food, superwoman! X

Idiot.

Love ya!

Too soon! Confessing your love already? Thought you had a mystery secret girlfriend?

I do. Zip it. I do not love you in that way sorry love!

Mhmmm! Sureeee!

Bye, asshole x

Bye, dickhead x 

Like two peas in a pod already.

I spent the rest of the day in bed with Mapi occasionally bringing up some food for me to eat, but I barely ate it. She tried telling me that I needed to eat and gain strength, but I just didn't really want to right now. I couldn't stand the thought of eating, nevermind 'gaining strength'.