Unlocking the Powers of my Subconscious Mind

Day 20 - K-Drama Craving✨

It's not getting any more interesting. I need to make it harder.

I need to push myself hard. I need to push myself until I reach the end of a cliff. And when I am at the end of the cliff, I will be floating, and I will fly high until I reach the skies. Looking forward to that day.

To attain that, I should not settle for less. I should stop seeking comfort. It's been 20 days, and let's look at what we have done.
 

I felt no much difference until I talked to my friend. I talked to my cousin, alias best friend, after a month. The conversation was not like before. We usually have so much in common, but now that's not the case.

Earlier, we both talked about K-dramas, Thai dramas, and BTS. But now I don't have anything to talk about because, in the last month, I didn't even see a single episode of any drama. I didn't even watch a single video of the Bangtan boys.
 

I am not trying to live my life as a monk by unlocking the powers of my subconscious mind. All I am trying to do is understand myself and heal myself physically and mentally. I am trying to cultivate good habits in these 90 days.
 

The major reason for avoiding K-drama and Bangtan Boys is that they always portray a perfect life, which sometimes raises the alarm of how imperfect our lives are.
 

Though it gives me momentary pleasure, it soon makes me sad. I look pathetic after seeing their fancy lives. I not only envy their fancy lives; I also envy their consistency and hard work. Though there is no need for comparison, my human mentality makes me compare.

In every k-drama, they suffered a lot just to get an understanding partner who helped them heal from their traumatized past.
 

Is there something that I should get jealous of?

My life is already picture-perfect.

I am pacifying myself and feeding positivity to my subconscious mind.

We are getting out of context. I tried to reduce my cues of negativity in the last 20 days.
 

I also used the Digi Well Being app to reduce my phone usage.
 

I deleted the HiTV app to make my bad habit cues invisible. No habit is a bad habit. The habits that you want are good habits, and the habits that you try to avoid are bad habits. In that context, I am saying watching K-dramas just to escape reality as a bad habit.
 

I am saying all this because right now I am badly craving K-Drama, and I am trying to make it unattractive just by saying these things.

As I talked to my friend, all those cues that were invisible and unattractive before were glamourized by her. She shared her recent advancements in watching K-dramas. She also said that she shifted to Japanese dramas. I felt like a poor student in the K-drama field then. But I should not shift my focus.

I heard a podcast today that said, "Discipline is what you want now versus what you want the most."
 

Though I like to chill myself with K-dramas now, it won't take me anywhere. I am trying to make myself better, in which I am succeeding day by day.

I improved a lot in these 20 days, which is for sure.

But there's still a lot left to improve.

Let's do improvements in the morning, not in the middle of the night.
 

So I am gonna sleep.

Bye byee...

-AramintaFlores 
(October 12,2023)