Unlocking the Powers of my Subconscious Mind

Day 34 - Why You Want❓

What do you want?
 
Why do you want it?
 
We ask for something, but we never get it. Can you find the reason why?
 
I wanted long lashes. This is the story of why I started to desire long lashes and why I didn't get results based on my own version of subconscious theory.
 
The desire to have something rarely emerges from inside. But in most cases, the people who surround us give us some cues that make us desire something.
 
My desire for long lashes also emerged in such a way. Though lashes play a minimal role in the overall beauty of a person, I started to crave them so bad.
 
All of this happened because of my aunt and what she said once. I was getting ready for an event. Her kid came close to me and started to see my makeup kit. I am not an expert in makeup, but I do have something that may feel peculiar to that little kid. When she was seeing things, she came across my lash extensions. And she got interested in that. Her mom, alias my aunt, who walked past, saw that and said, This is not for people like you and me. This is for people who don't have lashes. You already have gifted lashes through my genes. The kid smiled and put aside that eyelash extension kit. But this little kid inside me felt hurt. I never felt insecure about my lashes before. By the way, I do have a decent amount of lashes. But my aunt's lashes were extraordinarily incredible, which gave her the courage to talk that way.
 
That's the moment I decided to grow my lashes. I tried castor oil but got little results. Then I bought lash serum, and yes, all these were working. But I don't know why only eyelashes on the right eye are getting good results. Even before doing all this, my right eyelashes are always denser than my left. But now it's getting so visible.
 
I don't know what to do with my eyelashes. If you have any remedies for asymetrical eyelashes, comment below.
 
Actually, today is a travel day, and I met my aunt and her lashes. That's when I recalled the reason for longing for long lashes.
 
Some people will be beautiful by being jack in everything, like skin, hair, and fitness. Whereas some people will be king in one and still get attention and positive feedback because of that one. My aunt falls into the second category, and that one thing gives her courage to mock my lashes.
 
Though I have a strong desire for long lashes, I am not getting results because I don't think the desire drives the process. The fear and humiliation are what drive me in the case of long lashes. I don't want to be mocked again for my pretty decent lashes by someone who has pretty excellent lashes.
 
I don't find a strong desire within myself. Maybe that's the reason why.
 
But sometimes, during my visualization session, I visualize my aunt being awed by my long, thick lashes. She is shocked because she is not the lash queen anymore.
 
Ha ha! Still, the humiliation that I felt is what makes me talk about all this, I guess.
 
Whatever might have started that desire, I really want to awe her someday with my long lashes.
 
I sound like a silly child, right? Yeah, I'm still a child trying to grow up by practicing the subconscious mind.
 
While I am writing all this, she is right here, sleeping beside me in the same room.
 
Going to sleep at 2.19 a.m.

Please excuse me today, as I am away from home.

Bye byeee!
 
- AramintaFlores♥️
(October 26, 2023)