Unlocking the Powers of my Subconscious Mind

Day 63 - Memories Bring Back U ❤️‍🩹

"Toast to the ones here today
Toast to the ones that we lost on the way
'Cause the drinks bring back all the memories
And the memories bring back, memories bring back you"
-Memories Song by Maroon 5

Again and again, I am having travel days, guys!

For the next 14 days, I will be away from my home.

When was the last time you were really happy about traveling and packed your bags with so much joy?

For me, when I was around 15 years old, my school took the top performers to a science program. It was a real blast, and I went away without my family for the very first time. I packed the luggage with so much joy, and I still miss that joy.

I never experienced that same feeling again in my life. I had some good travels, but the joy of packing is something unique that does not happen easily for me.

Today it was really hard and boring to pack my luggage for the next 14 days.

A dialogue from the Never Have I Ever series comes to mind: "How am I supposed to pack my whole life into one stupid suitcase?"

Somehow I did it, and right now I am traveling. Lately, travel gives me a mood-off. Not exactly moody, but something happens to my mind, and it starts to show a recap of everything that I experienced in this life.

I am a hater of old memories, no matter whether they're fond or not. Bitter memories are bitter, so it hurts, whereas fond memories are memories that ended long ago, so it also hurts.

If I forgot everything about myself and my past experiences, I would be happy. Out of these 20+ years of life, I have nothing worth remembering, and most of my memories are worth forgetting.

A dialogue from the Leo movie now comes to mind.

"If someone talks more about the past, there should be something good in it. I don't have anything like that."

I hate remembering about myself. But it's wrong, right?

I should love myself. I am just a product of the events and decisions I made. So everything I experienced in the past shaped me into who I am now.

So if I need to love my present self, I should accept everything about me. I should stop fearing my memories.

Memories always scare me. It hurts me, and I never learned how to cherish it. I should do that.

Thinking about memories, one day everything that I have now will become a memory. This journal may become a piece of that memory.

I may hate this piece of memory in the future. The main reason is that I will miss everything I had here. Maybe my past was always better than my present until now. If that changes, if my future becomes more glamorous than my past, will I stop longing for my past moments?

Is it really okay to be this way?

Submind, please give me peace. Please give me the courage to cherish my memories. Please allow me to live in the present moment.

I hate being away from my home. This crucial period in our journey is going to have some hurdles, I think.

It's ok. I should make things work, no matter what.

I should make 1250 dollars within this year. That's what I am manifesting a lot. I also want to monetize my YouTube channel.

I hope my subconscious mind will give me everything I manifest.

 
Bye byee

 
-AramintaFlores
(Nov. 24, 2023)

It's 3.45 a.m., and I don't know when I can sleep. Going to sleep at 5:00 a.m. So Bad🤭