Unlocking the Powers of my Subconscious Mind

Day 18 - Ex-(girl)friend💔

I once had a person in my life. I don't know how to address her.
 
Once upon a time, she was my friend. Now she is my ex-friend.
 
No matter what the relationship is or who the person is, if I like someone, I will be ready to do anything for them.
 
She was once such a person for me. She is nervous all the time. She always makes a mess of whatever she does. She always seeks attention from others, but deep down in her heart, all she wants is love. She wanted people to love her not despite her flaws but by hiding her flaws, and she believes that's the only way to get the love she wants.
 
I can sense her longing to be loved by someone. The bad habit that I have is that if someone desperately needs something, I want to give it to them just to see their pleasure. Maybe not just for that. I find pleasure in satisfying other people's wishes. I might have been born as Santa Claus in my last life, I guess.
 
I started to treat her specially. I became her friend, and she was so happy. Her birthday came, and during that day, I was out of town and absent. But I know that she would be longing for someone to make her birthday special, and I also know that there is no such person in her life other than me.
So I wanted to go to college, no matter what.
 
After the end of the event, I urged my parents to travel around 100 kilometers to get home. I succeeded in convincing them and came home, just to have my lunch, and again took a bus to my college. But before that, I also bought a cake to surprise her.
 
I was at my college gate, and the watchman was hesitating to allow me in, so I said some stories to get inside.
 
I got inside, and I don't remember the exact present that I gave her. I gave her something, which is for sure because she repaid me with a gift after the end of my birthday.
 
Seeing me was itself a surprise, but to make that day even more memorable, I hid a cake inside my sling bag. During break time, I passed the news of her birthday celebration in the canteen to everyone other than her. She didn't have any idea about that.
 
We said some stupid stuff to get her to the cafeteria, and while we were in it, there was another birthday celebration happening right there.
 
Her face drooped, but she tried to act normally. She said, Let's do it next year, not to pacify us but to pacify herself. The cake that I had in my sling bag made a heroic entry at that moment to brighten her face. She was lit, and within a minute or two, most of our class was in the cafeteria, and we celebrated her birthday so well that she will remember it forever, I assume.
 
But why am I saying all this?
 
She also did something that is related to the subconscious mind.
 
There is a thing called a suggestion, which is mentioned in Dr. Murphy's book. The basic idea about suggestions is that if someone says, "Hey! You look sick." You might actually get sick because their negative suggestion corrupted your subconscious mind. They don't hold any power, but you let your subconscious mind consider their suggestions. This may happen in both negative and positive ways.
 
The one about whom I was talking also made a suggestion, which corrupted me completely.
 
I am a person who never cries before others. Not even before my parents and siblings. My family used to call me a stone-hearted person, and I am proud of that because I don't want to shed my tears just to prove that I am a soft-hearted person.
 
The basic logic is that I think if someone loves you, they don't want to see you cry. Your tears might hurt them. If someone hates you, your tears might bring pleasure to them.
 
I don't want both of those. So, I never cried before people I knew.
 
One day after an exam, my ex-friend and I were walking in the corridor. We were talking about something, and suddenly, out of nowhere, she said something that was completely irrelevant to the topic. She asked me, "Don't you cry?" For which I said, "No!" And that's definitely not a bragging answer because, until that point in time, I never cried before people.
 
After hearing my negative response, she said, "I WANT TO SEE YOU CRY!"
 
I don't know why she said such a thing to me. I still remember the exact place in which she said this. My life has turned upside down since then. I cried a lot. Lot, lot until I got a gray eyelash. I cried before people. I cried before my family. I shed so many tears after that one negative suggestion.
 
But that's not the reason why she became my ex-friend.
 
Anyway, I won't share the reason for it.
 
If her curse is so strong, my subconscious mind is much stronger than that.
 
The one thing that I want to tell my subconscious mind is to get back to the stone-hearted creature again. Don't shed tears, which can hurt people who love you and bring pleasure to people who hate you.
 
Be cold to people seeking your tears and warm to people seeking your smile.
 
You have got a lot to smile about, and not just smile. You are going to laugh until your stomach hurts.
 
Can I call myself and refer to myself as Ara?
Comment!!
 
Don't let negative suggestions invade your peaceful mind. Stay away from viruses that can corrupt your mind.
 
Bye!! Bye!!!

-Araminta Flores
(October 10,2023)