Unlocking the Powers of my Subconscious Mind

Day 45 - He is right😑

I should not have obeyed his words. I should not have accepted his suggestion.
 
He just said it without even thinking a lot. But all of what he said is right. It didn't sound right then, but it all makes sense now.
 
He said that writing this journal would not help me. He told me to write on certain topics, which I wouldn't do if not told.
 
Can you guess the topics that I wrote about based on his suggestions?
 
First of all, can you guess who he is?
 
The topics that I wrote as homework given by him are 'Scared to Say' (day 38) and 'Cursed in Heaven' (day 42). Now, can you guess who he is?
 
He is none other than my family doctor. I met him two weeks ago, and he told me some harsh realities. He told me that I was beautiful but not attractive. He also added that I am not happy, so I am not attractive. Those words hurt me, but I still know that it's the truth.
 
He told me to buy a tiny change journal and write things there. I am raw and honest here. But still, I do have some secrets that I can't or won't share here, right?
 
He told me to buy a journal and fill out my feelings there. He gave assignments on certain topics.
 
He told me to write journals on topics like what scares me, why I am not happy, why I didn't go for a job, what is there to do with work and why I desperately need one, etc.
 
These are certain topics that I avoid. These are things that I am afraid of. He is an expert at sensing things. He knows where things go wrong. He knows why things don't work out. He knows what is the first thing that needs to be changed.
 
Even after hearing from him, it still took a week to muster up my courage to write a journal on things that scare me. I shared only 25% of my fears.
 
I also wanted to talk about work, for which it took another 4 days, and I just gave a prequel to what I should actually write.
 
That prequel actually killed my inner peace. It's not that journal that disturbed my peace. It's the suppressed emotions that I have forever. That journal triggered everything that I was trying to forget.
 
I'm still not sure what to do. The subconscious mind should seek peace first. Only then, I can try to unlock its full potential.
 
Lately, my mood is a bit off. I want to figure out what I want and what I actually miss right now.
 
Let's dedicate tomorrow to writing the assignments that my doctor has given me.
 
Let's find out what we want first to figure out what we need to fetch from our subconscious mind.
 
Today, I roughly did 5/14 tasks. I didn't feel like doing it because my mind was constantly wandering and I didn't know what it was looking for.
 
Let's take a day off tomorrow from everything, if possible. My only primary duty is to complete the assignments by answering questions that can help me find my lost peace.
 
Bye bye
 
-AramintaFlores♥️
(Nov 6,2023)
 
Going to sleep at 1.58 a.m.