Unlocking the Powers of my Subconscious Mind

Day 43 - Addicted🥴

For the last few minutes, I have been trying to figure out by myself whether it's 2023 or 2024.

I finally concluded that it's 2024, but I was wrong, right?
 

Yes. I am forgetting many things, even the year in which I am living.
 

Today I was in a bad mood due to proofreading yesterday's journal. I was productive, but I also wasted my time today.
 

I proofread and uploaded my journal. I uploaded a chapter in the art book. I also wrote a story for my anthology, proofread it, and published it. I recorded one video but edited and uploaded two videos. I also doodled based on the prompt I received. I am also writing this journal.
 

After doing all this, I still feel like a loser who is wasting time. I am training my subconscious mind, but I am referring to myself as a loser. I should describe myself as an intelligent person who spends her energy watching YouTube videos just to get inspiration.
 

I saw so many unnecessary YouTube shorts, which I avoided in the last 40 days. Seeing one or two is okay. But today I saw 93 shorts and two long-form videos. But 10 out of this is my own video, and some videos are just swipe-away videos, which I didn't see. I also saw 10 Instagram reels, which my friend shared.
 

I consider all this a waste of time. I am consuming a random fish that is placed before me. I hate people who swipe away and see random things that are shown before them (sorry for that). I never do that swipe-away thing, but still, YouTube places some random videos on my home page for which I will get tempted and end up watching them. Once upon a time, I never saw videos on my home page. Not even a single video, and those are the times when YouTube shorts are not introduced. Back then, I only consumed things that I wanted by searching for them. But now YouTube shorts are irresistible. Today was the day I consumed the most random fish in these 40 days.
 

I should stop being a person I hate. Nothing is right or wrong. It's all about what I want. I don't want distractions from social media.
 

Lately, even my work life is disturbing and addicting me so much.
 

I open Wattpad at least 20+ times daily, even without getting any notification, hoping that some notification might be there, which I missed. I don't read, but I open open open again and again just to check my notification, in which I got none.
 

The same applies to YouTube studios. I open it at least 30 times daily to check the view count. Though the view doesn't change much, I just do that unconsciously.
 

I am getting addicted to appreciation. I need attention so badly. I always check the comment section in YouTube Studio, and 99.8% of the time I get none.
 

I'm getting addicted to my phone, and I don't want to keep it away at all.
 

Should write, read, draw, shoot, edit, or learn about the stock market from YouTube.
 

Whatever I want to do, I want to do it on my phone. Though 80% of my phone usage is dedicated to my work, I should reduce my phone usage.
 

I should not check YouTube Studio and Wattpad so often, like an addict.

Let's restrict ourselves.

I cannot check YouTube Studio more than five times and should open Wattpad only to upload or if I get a notification.
 

Today, I am suffering from a cold and didn't do most of my tasks.

Bye byee
 

-AramintaFlores♥️
(Nov. 4, 2023)

Going to sleep at 12.40