Today, I got a bit crazy.
You might have known it by my upload time of yesterday's journal. I uploaded it so close when it was about to be the next day.
For the last 60+ days, I have been consistently uploading my journal. I never skipped it, no matter what the situation was.
But today it was a totally different scenario. I did a live stream for 12 hours straight. I read a full book aloud today on my live. I know it would take time. So I planned on uploading my journal before starting my live. But I forgot, and right after a few minutes of starting it, I started to have thoughts about this journal. I didn't know whether I would complete this before 12 and upload my daily journal.
I tried to read as fast as I could. But that reading didn't mean understanding, to be honest. I only soaked up 30% of the content, but anyhow, I completed a complete book in a day.
I finally uploaded my journal before 12, but that doesn't mean I completed my live before 12. It was 11.40, and I had around 50 pages, I guess. I know I can't make it in time. So I just minimized my YouTube and went to my Keep Notes, copied my journal, and published it. It took around 2 minutes.
But YouTube collapsed, and I couldn't resume my live at all. I thought everything got fisheed. But later, I did something and resumed it. I also somehow completed it.
It's all a matter of willpower. At first, I was so afraid, and I drank so much water in the middle. I had too many snacks before me, fearing that I might collapse. But as the hours went by, I got okay with it.
My subconscious mind started to believe that I was capable of it. It started to give me the energy I needed. I felt so short of energy in the first few hours compared to the last few hours.
I did a Maranthon live stream, which is also to shape my subconscious mind. I did this to make myself believe that I am capable of everything that I believe in. I don't want to disappoint myself by stopping in the middle.
So I poured myself, and when I completed the last words, my family opened the door and came in. They handed me a cake with a topper saying, "You did it." It was handwritten by my bro. My sis gifted me chocolate. My mom made my favorite ramen noodles, and that was this day.
I am building a stronger mindset by pushing a little harder.
Bye byee
-AramintaFlores♥️
(Nov. 26, 2023)Going to sleep at 2.39 a.m.
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