Freddie Mercury imagines

We are the champions

I made a very grave mistake...I looked up 1991 Freddie Mercury pictures and broke whatever resolve to not cry I had left within me. I did want to find a picture from the specific time period of the one shot seeing as that's what I usually do but I knew it'd just break me more if I actually got a picture of him from the nineties so I got this one of him from the news of the world tour and my god, he is so adorable...AGHHHH THIS IS NOT HELPING ME TODAY IT'S JUST MAKING ME SADDER 🥺😢

Speaking of which, I'm sure we all know what today is...and why it is so important yet so dreadful. I already posted an announcement about it on my page, though I was crying with each new word I typed then as I am crying with each new word I type now.

I've never felt like this about anybody. I've never lost anyone especially close or important to me (That I remember knowing anyway), so I never knew the true meaning of grief. Until last year when I joined the Queen fandom and fell deeply in love with Freddie, who we are all mourning today. 

I hate this day with everything in me. I hate that this man who would never hurt a fly and did so much good for the world had to suffer so horribly and endure so much pain that no one should ever have to go through, especially not him. I really hate imagining him decaying and dying with each passing day while Jim, the band and his family couldn't do anything about it except watch him slowly but surely fade away. It physically hurts me on a level I can't express. 

I know he hated being pitied, and I know he was so fucking brave until the very end, but I can't help the way I feel. I can't help the emptiness and despair I feel burning inside me with a passion. I can't help but wish he were still here today, in his old age and as proud and powerful as ever.

I haven't been able to stop crying since I've woken up, and I honestly don't expect that to change until tomorrow morning, if I need to tell the truth. Then I'll either be numb and cried out or calm and relaxed. I really don't know. I know this grief is not what Freddie wants for me nor for his other fans who are inevitably feeling the same misery as me, but it just can't be helped. It didn't hurt as much last year because I was only just becoming a Queen fan at that point so I wasn't as emotionally attached to Freddie. The longer you know a person, the more it hurts to think about losing them. Especially when that person was already lost in the first place and you just didn't know it. 

This chapter isn't what you guys think, but it is in a way. I needed to update to give me some remote level of comfort, though I'm not sure if it's gonna work or if it'll just add to my depression. I guess we'll find out once it's done. I tried writing it several ways, but the final draft pleased me the most so I hope it'll be the same outcome for you guys. 

Enjoy, and bring your tissues. (I have a considerable amount next to me though they're doing absolutely nothing for my relentless tears- Anyways...)

November 24th, 1992.

You yawned quietly as you woke up and stretched, adjusting to the sunlight that shined through the window. You rubbed your eyes and pet your cat Delilah who laid in your lap, letting out purrs that you could feel her fur vibrating from. 

Rapid breaths and broken whimpers were heard from next to you, and you quickly turned around at the sound.

Freddie was clutching onto the pillow as if it were his lifeline, his body shaking as whatever dream he was having sent him into considerable distress.

"Freddie it's okay, shhh..." You whispered as you massaged his back gently, though it did nothing to soothe his panic. 

"I'm here angel, you're just having a nightmare." You kept trying to comfort him, though you didn't seem to be getting anywhere.