My Broken YOU

Kintsugi

Kintsugi 

Kintsugi is an art form in Japan that fixed cracked or broken vessels, ceramics, and other art with gold. They seal the cracks with gold and make the broken art even more beautiful than it was. They call it 'Golden Joinery'. Instead of hiding the ugliness and brokenness, they believe this makes it shine and brings beauty to the item.

Mason is filled with gold. I've been his artist, slowly sealing the cracks he's broken. And now, I am also filled with gold. He's been my artist, slowly sealing me. 

"What are you thinking about?" Mason asks while sliding his shirt over his head.

"You." I say softly and gently bite the tip of my finger.

"Me?" He smiles while he turns away to reach for his shoes. "I think you had enough of me last night. Am I correct?"

"Maybe." I smile as that arousing warmth rushes through my body. "Last night was fun, but this morning was what I enjoyed."

"This morning?" He questions and pauses sliding his shoes on. The confused expression on his face makes me laugh for a second. "What happened this morning without my knowledge?"

"I woke up!" I say almost in a childish tone while my mind rewinds to his peaceful sleeping. "I saw you sleeping like a baby, and it brought a smile to my face. I couldn't be luckier to have you in my life."

"I think it's the opposite, Maddy." He argues playfully. "I've done some messed up things and I get to have someone as special as you. No matter what you think I know I have it better by a thousand times just for getting the opportunity to sleep next to you."

I shake my hair out of my face, my body glowing with excitement. "I think it's both of us, babe. I was broken...cracked everywhere and you sealed me closed with gold."

He slides his other shoes on, his eyes connecting to mine with a deep passion inside of them. "I'm just happy we are somewhat going back to a normal life. Minus the fact that we need to find an apartment soon! Within a few weeks or even days!"

My breath hitches. "I forgot all about it. I've spent the past four years on this campus and have enjoyed every second. But babe, I can't imagine leaving."

He raises an eyebrow, stepping closer to me. "Why not? You'd be leaving and living with me."

"You guys!" Ava joyfully yells as she swings the door open with excitement like I've never seen her before. "Brayden asked me to marry him!"

"He what!" Mason and I both question at the same time.

Tears are streaming down her face with the brightest glow on her cheeks. It's obvious she's been bawling her eyes out and I'm going to take a wild guess at her hair and her clothes halfway off that crying wasn't all they were doing.

She raises her hand, flashing a large diamond ring perfectly fitting on her finger. "You know I said yes!"

"Awe!" I beam with excitement. "This is amazing! I'm so happy for you two! This is unbelievable! Is it because we all are moving in a few weeks?"

"Yes!" She yells, hardly capable of controlling her emotions. "And what's more is he's taking me to Turks and Caicos for the entire summer! You heard that right! The ENTIRE summer, babe!"

"I have to go," Mason announces while quickly swooping behind Ava with a questionable look on his face. "Love you, Maddy. I'll see you in a few hours."

"Babe!" I plead as he quickly leaves, not giving me a chance to give him a hug or kiss. "Fine!"

"Ava!" I smile and wrap my arms around her with the widest smile I can give. "This is amazing! You two are perfect for each other and now you will get everything you've ever wanted. Did he accept that job?"

"Yes!" She roars in excitement. He's already buying a house for the two of us. He said he's in no rush to start a family, but he's in a rush to start us. Did you take that job in Boston? And does Mason know?"

I softly shake my head as my heart flutters just thinking about it. "I did take that job in Boston and Mason has no idea. He knew I had an interview for a job, but he didn't know where. I'm scared to tell him. I'm afraid he will fight and beg me to stay here. He doesn't want to leave Providence and if we did leave, he said he'd rather move to Seattle and don't ask me why because I have no idea."

She sighs and wipes the tears from her eyes. "Now that I'm a little calmer, I have to tell you something but please don't freak out!"

"What?" I ask in a hurry, seemingly pushing.

"Mason told Brayden something and somehow thought it wouldn't get back to you. He wants to take you to Monaco for the summer. His dad has a home over there and Mason tries to go every summer. He wasn't planning on going this summer after everything that had happened. But given the cooling period and you two seem happier than ever, he's going to ask you."

"I can't go!" I say, feeling horrible. "I took the job in Boston, and they want me to start literally two weeks after graduation. And it's for a historical magazine company! I'm taking it. I'm going to start a life and hopefully with Mason. But I'm terrified to tell him I'm scared..."

"You're scared he's going to deny you that opportunity and make him choose between the job and him." She adds, knowing just as well as I do. "Because that's how Mason Pembrook is. It's either his way or no way. Even in your relationship he's given up a lot for you and has changed everything about him. But this! He's not going to allow this. Is there any way you can hold off on the position until after summer? I feel like they are pushing you to get in there and you should at least go with Mason for the summer."

"He might not go now that I am going to tell him about the job. I don't know what he's going to do, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't want to lose him, but this is also my life. I need to have a job to live in this world and it's the perfect job for me. And Boston is not far from Providence. But he wants me to live with him. And I want to live with him! But I want this job too."

"But it's Mason. Good luck!" She says as she reaches for her wallet. "I have to run to my mom's and tell her this amazing news!"

"Wait!" I say in confusion while watching her open the door. "You haven't told your mom yet?"

She softly shakes her head with a raised eyebrow, looking at me like I'm the crazy one. "You were the first person I wanted to tell! Besides, I needed to fix my hair, it's a little too obvious."

"No shit. I knew the second you walked in here what you and Brayden did before coming to tell me the great news. But go tell your mom! I will keep you updated on the Mason and my drama. I think things will turn out fine. I don't see him ever wanting to lose me ever again."

"He doesn't!" She adds, quickly stepping into the hallway. "I love you and please keep me informed!"

"Congrats!" I beam with excitement again. "See you later!"

"Bye!" She yells as she rushes down the hall toward the exit doors. "I mean it! Let me know how everything turns out with telling Mason!"

I wave with a forced smile knowing my anxiety is getting the best of me. Mason is not going to allow this. I'd be shocked if he did. Our love is so powerful we could be a million miles away and would still find each other, but this is one thing that could potentially tear us apart even though there's no reason for it to.