I'll Be Fine (pt. 2 of 2)

powerful

"You looked so good in green
I hope you're well
And you look so good with him
And I'm proud of you still
Take care of my shirt warm and red
I hope you think of me still as your friend
I hope you love yourself, your body and heart
I hope you feel happy, that's all I want
That's all I want"

you really did look good in green
you looked amazing in anything, really
you were perfect, the way i saw you
but i suppose perfect can't be quantified
especially when put into words
the level of want, the level of selfishness i had for you
it was indeterminately massive
i couldn't figure out how to share the ideas of you
until i wrote you
a simple letter
and i wrote, and wrote, and wrote
i realized my eyes were deceitful, no, my brain was
it could be quantified
words gave all the meaning i need
the thoughts of words dancing, romantic
all to tell of my future wants and my feelings
the help of words, i cannot forget
yet also, they curse me now
as the footprint they left
made me whimper and whine
at the transcripts i copied for your readability

"I love your smile, the goofy toothy grin you give each time you laugh, the sweet taste of your lips on mine, the plumpness of said lips, the effort you put into us. Every mannerism is a show of your dedication to making me feel loved, a testament to the pure and unfaltering love for me. You're just so amazing, my heart pounds for every movement you make, every sound of yours I catch. I'm infatuated with everything about you, your voice, soft and sweet, your eyes, hazel and full of hope, your cheeks, pinkish and rosey from embarrassment. You take it all, combine it, to get one of the most beautiful and caring individuals alive on Earth. I will always love you, forever and ever, no matter what happens between us, no matter the disagreement, no matter the argument. I could never get truly angry with such a compassionate individual, such as you.

You deserve immense amounts of love, and countless kisses, telling of my strong, undying love for you. I want each and every of my hugs imbued with my want to make you lovely and happy. My only goal is to give you the world. Love you, my love ❤️

I love you so much!!! ❤️
Delilah"

they needed to get my point across
and so it did, but
in doing so
it's left such a mark on me
the effort
the minutes, almost half an hour
i wasted on such garbage to be collected
i wanted to give you something personal
something meaningful
and yet, did it mean a single thing
after it was all done?
did you thank me out of habit amd condolences
or was it appreciation?

i acted out a romeo and juliet in my head
and it ended exactly how I should have expected
strong, forsaken love, only touched by the two lovers
and then misfortune, mistakes, and timing
tore it down as the illusion as thin as paper
the light shone through too bright
breaking immersion, and bringing me back
to the thought of even having someone to cherish
being merely a relic of thought
though someday, i wish and
on the off hand, hope
that relics such as that
can be preserved, through rekindling