I'll Be Fine (pt. 2 of 2)

you.

and for one last final damnation
i have to tackle the one
the benefactor of all that
the one link that is the constant reason i see her.
she deserves nothing but being put on a mantle
to collect dust
a mere conversation piece
in the bleak ideals of the friendships people run
Cheyenne.
i don't find you nessecarily bad
infact i sympathize with you
i confide in you occasionally, as a way
to display the intense hatred i have
for your "wonderful" cousin
and the lack of meaning of all that dealt with her.
you know, homecoming means nothing
the blazer means nothing
the pictures mean nothing
the talk means nothing
all of it means jack shit.
and for that, you understand
all that i despise.
her unwillingness to open up
her inability to try in any cohesive way
her ineffectual attempts at relationships
they all show you how either destroyed or demented she can be, or truly is
and just the idea of her being alive
it really gives me an irrational anger
the hair she wears, the faces she puts on
it's all a bare display of how much she wants you
to believe she is good, she could never be terrible.
but it's just not true.
i don't usually use periods
describing my point without them gives them a more flowy and cohesive feel
but this shows my intent on the matter:
ending it once and for all, if not for murder being illegal.
Cheyenne.
you, and you alone, are capable of understanding.
not many others can take to heart the story provided.
not many can see her cry and still bring themselves
to say such things
but i see the potential and power within you
to actually think competently for yourself
and not be a part of the inept
as a part of her self proclaimed friend quota.
for this, i want to say one thing to you.
The eyes you see are not of an angel's, but that of a malicious entity that loves to take the wind out of your sail, and the breath out of your voice.
do what you want, but best believe i do judge your choice.

and as for you ella, don't think im so powerlessly grasping at things. im happier than ive ever been, after ridding myself the poison coursing through my veins. your words ooze hatred and disregard for human life, and the disrespect of your mind is a playground for all that is your deeds of loathing.

I'm going to go as Elle Argent, I'm going to find myself a Tao Xu, I'm going to find that of a new person I can trust and believe, and I'll be rid of the insanity of not once trying to fix their own issues and problems, you inconsequential, teary-eyed, crocodile teared, horrendous excuse for that of a human being with compassion and love for all that is the human race and LGBTQ community.