they say we all have vices
but i wonder what mine are
atleast now i do
when i practice sanity, practically
i dont have anything that sticks out
anything that comes out and nitpicks me
criticizes me
i wonder what mine are
maybe friends due to lack of a true figure of love and care?
maybe games because they distract me from the stress?
maybe the want to be sexualized
due to what ive exposed myself and been exposed to?
all possible
but none of them seem to have a huge hold over me
all of them seem small
im able to control them
for the most part
i just realize how little i am to blame
for everything that's been pinned to my shoulders
the breakup with ella?
it's not my fault she didn't communicate
and she wasn't good enough to recognize
she can't handle relationships
my breaking off with mae?
it's not my fault she let it go as far as she did
or that she fueled my codependency
and played with my heart strings the way she did
my parents hatred of the concept that i want to be?
it's not my fault they think the way they do
and that our country sits on two sides of a table
that really doesn't have two sides
and they sit so close that their beliefs are nesrly identical
and it's not their or my fault
that the us really needs to get its shit together
but now i ask
is my vice really hatred?
in place of sadness i just delegate
my energy towards despising it
in asking myself such
i answer my own question
my vice is putting into words
what doesn't nessecarily need to be said
to be understood in all ways possible.
i put into script about "good" and "bad"
when really, it's all a part of me
and what's good or bad doesn't change by putting a label on it.
YOU ARE READING
I'll Be Fine (pt. 2 of 2)
Poetrypoetry showing my stress. relieving, coping, really. continuing to add poems, sometimes daily. use this as place to talk about your own frustrations and dances with pain and strife
