I'll Be Fine (pt. 2 of 2)

call me in the morning

it's times like this that make me understand
why you see those long distance couples
in their first time seeing each other, hugging so tight
gripping eachother with more passion
than most would in intimate acts
cuz yeah, ive been slipping as of late
isnt hard to make me cry
sometimes i wonder how id want to die
but still i sit
and picture this
the world where we sat beside each other on the swings
where we would share each treat we were packed
where we would tell each other stories and listen so intently
where the days would blur
and most every moment was spent with you
where we would sit around and do our own things
and just enjoy the heartbeat and soul next to us
where we would call constantly
complaining about our teachers and groan about homework
and telling eachother about our day
where not a single time would we get mad at each other
because we understand the other
is probably going through some rough shit too
where we would grow up at each others heels
holding ourselves tight, and each other tighter
where we would find a corner to sit
a set of stairs, a parking lot, some place off campus
just to spend time with you
where we wouldn't skip to avoid the work (though that helped)
but instead to see each other again.
when i picture it
wishing i had known you my whole life
i understand why
they hug
and kiss
with everything theyve had
because otherwise?
they wouldn't be able to make up the years
they wish they had spent with them.
i cant wait to see you
i wish my every moment, i could spend with you
i would hug you and cuddle you so often
we would never get out of bed on time
we would always be so physical
we would be what ive always wanted ever since my first spark.
youve shown me youd never be like my ex girlfriend
youd never be anything like my ex best friend
i cant believe ive finally found someone i can actually
share the sentiment of love with.
everything ive wasted energy on
meaningless kisses
empty messages
halfhearted motions
youve shown me it wasnt for nothing
and that now i have a chance to actually love.
i have a chance to actually be what i wanted from the start
a good girlfriend with a healthy relationship.
i love you.
i love you so much, and i miss you so fucking much.
i may be crying a bit but i want to change.
i want to make sure i can take care of myself
and that you don't feel useless or a burden
because you can never be that when everything you are
is something beautiful and wonderful
that i appreciate
love
and adore
every sleeping and waking moment
of my amazing life youve brought color to
from the dreary gray
i had once thought was going to be my friend forever.
unrelated, but whats your favourite color?
whatever that color is, is the color i see the world in now💖