ive been fucking up
all my life
really badly
ive procrastinated
tried to be happy
overturn my self esteem
rework my satisfaction and happiness triggers
not get hooked on dopamine
but now it's just something i have no clue about
i think at this point
id rather to go to the range i have to work with my father at
and grab someone's gun and shoot myself
and if they stop me
ask them to put me out of my misery
i wish i had some normal semblance of a relationship
with my parents
but it's never been that way
and even when it was
it was a facade
they taught me so much and so "well"
but i didn't listen
i want to be me
i want to be happy
i want to be free
but at this point
i don't think i can be
none of this is salvageable
my parents actually despise who i want to be
they despise my ideals
they know they hate me
but they don't know why or how
im fucked up
im pushed here
i feel like crying
but no way anymore will things work out
im just done
and I don't think i have much time to continue honestly
just wish i was normal
wish i had the problems as others
i wish all i had to deal with was my sexuality
YOU ARE READING
I'll Be Fine (pt. 2 of 2)
Poetrypoetry showing my stress. relieving, coping, really. continuing to add poems, sometimes daily. use this as place to talk about your own frustrations and dances with pain and strife
