I'll Be Fine (pt. 2 of 2)

scarred by fond memories

somebody truly loves you
your reflection feels unreal
and it stares you down as you take in the look
the drops hit the counter
she isn't here
not now, not ever
the horrible things you dream
your snake being killed
being shamed infront of the class
being outed to your parents
bloodletting
your dog, ran over
the ghost of a past dog
the reliving of that scene eternally
seeing her slump into the arms of your sister.
tongue flopping out
hey
bud
look at me
i know you remember all this
but it's okay.
we all live
we all die
and i know you're scared
but make the most of things
she did, and unfortunately things happened to her
you know she loved you
you know she was the one to truly have unconditional love
the one and only
up until you got good friends
and you romanticize the life
hypnotized till you can't say
how long you've tried to let go
please just don't forget your home
and look
everyone's got their vices
and things they don't like about themselves
you wish you were a girl, don't you?
and you've got the vice of a few of your friends
as well as the games you play
you take your mind away from the ache
your teeth wiggle in their spots like loose screws
you're growing up
and hitting such an age you think
you breath
you speak
all from your brain
and you have your first moment of consciousness
but you don't much remember that, do you
no, you've been alone a long time
you've been low maintenance
trying to keep yourself from infecting others
with what was afflicting you
you've tried to show compassion
before the world showed you how worthless it was
and i understand
you've been sad
a really
really
really long time
the glow of the moon has been on you luckily
the stars have guided you
the eyes you see are not your own
but those of people like you
hiding
waiting
hoping
don't let it cut you down just because you've been bogged
your shoes don't fit but that's what new ones are for
your clothes are tight
you've grown quite a bit
and though your mind faces that moment
especially about your one true unconditional friend
you'll be okay
it sounds hard to believe
it sounds like a dream
it sounds hollow
and meaningless
having to leave her
to the big bowl in the sky
but you'll grow
you'll find a way to be happy
or atleast stall the dark as the moon spins
you'll find a way
you'll find your happiness
soon again
you'll find the meaning of your gloom
won't you, Delilah?

Delilah?
are you there, bud?
hello?
are you...crying?
what happened?
what's up?
what's wrong?

really, what you want to ask, though, is
what's wrong with you?
what's wrong with your mind?
what makes you want to bleed?
what makes you so selfish?
why are you so irrational?