Discord

Bats!

Applejack: Any minute now...

[rooster crowing]

Applejack: Yee-haw! It's officially Apple Bucking Day! Look at all those apples! Ripe and juicy, perfect for buckin'! [grunts]

[splat]

Applejack: What the heck is goin' on? [gasps] They're back!

[bats chittering]

[bell ringing]

Applejack: Attention! This is a Sweet Apple Acres code red! I need all hooves – and claws – on deck!

Rarity: Calm down, Applejack.

Applejack: Calm down?! How can I calm down at a time like this?! Vampire fruit bats are attackin' Sweet Apple Acres!

Twilight Sparkle: But I thought the fruit bats usually stayed put in the west orchard.

Applejack: The fruit bats do, but these aren't just your everyday ordinary fruit bats. They're vampire fruit bats! I'll be darned if they think they're gonna sink their fangs into my blue ribbon apple.

Rest of main cast: [Wow, etc.]

Spike: Awesome!

Applejack: This here's our entry into the Appleloosa State Fair's produce competition. [exhales] You know how much TLC goes into getting an apple to grow like this?

Rarity: Applejack! When you go big, you really go big!

Applejack: Them vampire bats want to shrivel it up like a raisin!

Fluttershy: Oh, I'm sure if we just let them know how special that particular apple is to you, they'll leave it alone.

Applejack: Yeah, right. Be my guest.

[bats chittering quietly]

Fluttershy: Um, excuse me, Mr. Vampire Bat—

[splat]

Fluttershy: We were just wondering if maybe you wouldn't mind leaving that really big apple alone?

[seeds hammering]

Fluttershy: [gasps]

Applejack: Well? What'd he say?

Fluttershy: Um... yes.

Applejack: Huh?!

Fluttershy: But... it could've been a no.

Applejack: Oh.

Fluttershy: This is the first vampire fruit bat I've ever met and, well, it might take some time for me to really understand their language.

Applejack: Uh-huh. And in the meantime, this pest and his vermin friends are gonna go after my prized apple and, while they're at it, every other apple in the orchard! These vampire bats are nothin' but a bunch of monsters!

Fluttershy: Monsters?! Oh, that's a bit harsh, don't you think?

Applejack: No, I do not. Those vampire bats will give you a fright, eating apples both day and night. They rest for a minute, maybe three then they're eatin' every apple in your apple tree. They don't care about nada, not zilch, no, nothin' 'cept bringin' about an orchard's destruction.

Fluttershy: Now wait just a minute, there's another side to this and if I did not defend them, then I would be remiss. These bats are mamas and papas too, they care for their young just like we ponies do.

Applejack: Oh, give me a break, you're bein' too kind, these creatures have a one-track mind, the orchard is not their restaurant, but do they ever think what others may want? No! They don't! And that is just a fact, these bats, they simply don't know how to act.