It's always been you, April Kepner

together but apart

Till I Hear It From You
season 13 ep 17

🎵I Know The End-Phoebe Bridgers🎵

"but you had to go"

~~~~~

"Madelyn Shepherd" Jo says putting an arm around the brunettes shoulders "I'm surprised you're alive honestly, I thought you would've done something stupid" she admits

"Oh, wow, thank you Josephine" Madelyn replies sarcastically

"No seriously though, how are you doing?" Jo asks

Madelyn sighs "Honestly I haven't been able to get a good nights rest in a long time"

"I know the feeling" Jo admits "Can I do anything to help?"

Madelyn shakes her head "You've got your own Tony to worry about"

"Maybe we should just run away together" Jo suggests

"I'm honestly considering it" Madelyn says before walking away

"I'll start looking for places" Jo calls after her

~~~~~

"Hey. You're back" Meredith says walking into the attending's lounge where Madelyn and Maggie are both sat

"Uh huh" the brunette replies

"Okay" Meredith says at the lack of enthusiasm "Hows it going?" she then asks Maggie

"Boobs" Maggie says making Madelyn frown at her

"Oh. You have to let that go" Meredith sighs

"My mother wants basketball boobs. You let it go" Maggie replies

"Mom boobs again?" Amelia asks walking in

"It doesn't stop" Meredith says

"What reason does she have to defile her body that way?" Maggie asks

"She doesn't need a reason, it's her body" Madelyn says

"My mother wouldn't let me pierce my ears until I was 10" Maggie says "She told me that masturbating made Jesus cry. She said that nail polish was for prostitutes. That woman wants stripper boobs? Yes, I want a reason"

"Her reasons..." Meredith says through a soft laugh

"...Are for sex" Madelyn says

"Why would you say that?" Maggie asks

"Okay...maybe she just wants her shirts to fit better" Madelyn suggests

"Okay, now that's almost understandable" Maggie says

"...To get more sex" Amelia adds

"I am asking you guys for advice" Maggie say seriously

"Okay, okay, sorry" Meredith apologises "Okay, tell me again"

Maggie sighs "Am I just...supposed to accept that this horrifying thing is happening? Am I just supposed to get on board...fold? Make a decision to support my G-cup mom?"

"No you're right. You do need a reason" Meredith says

"I do!" Maggie exclaims

"She can't expect you to just blindly jump on board" Meredith says "You should demand a reason"she says before walking out

"That is and advice" Amelia says once Meredith leaves

"It is?" Maggie questions

"Terrible" Madelyn agrees

"She doesn't owe you an explanation, and you don't have a right to tell her what to do with her boobs" Amelia says

"No, i'm...I'm not..."

"It's her body. It's her boobs" Amelia says "She doesn't have to justify her decision to anyone. I mean don't come at her demanding anything. Just give her some support"

"Maggie, I think you might be the most dramatic person i've ever met" Madelyn admits before walking away

~~~~~

"Hey, hey" Madelyn says softly when she sees a teary eyed

"I'm fine" Amelia says wiping away her tears

"Don't lie to me Amelia" Madelyn says "What happened?"

"I can't give Owen what he wants , he keeps saying he wants a family but what he really means is he wants-"

"...kids" Madelyn finishes for her sister "Yeah, he was the same with Cristina"

" I can't have a baby, I can't do it" Amelia sobs

Madelyn pulls her sister in for a hug "So don't" she says

~~~~~

"Hi baby girl" Madelyn coos as she opens her arms for April to hand Alexis to her "Oh you smell so good" she says softly holding her baby close to her "Everything okay toady?" she asks the redhead whose cooking dinner

"Yeah everything was fine" April replies "How was work?"

"Eh, quiet" Madelyn answers before turning her attention back to Alexis "Mama missed you, yes I did" she whispers placing a kiss on her head "You're being quiet" she says to April "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, good" April replies not looking up from what she's doing

Madelyn moves closer to her, she attempts to place her hand on the redhead's shoulder but April jerks away

"April?" Madelyn questions "What's wrong?"

"Nothing I just- we're not together, but we live together and sometimes we sleep together- but we're not together" she rants

"I know it's complicated but I didn't think-"

"I think I need to move out" April admits "You're good at just having sex and it meaning nothing more- I can't do that, i've never done that"

"I didn't know" Madelyn whispers

"I just don't know what we're doing" April sighs "But whatever it is it's not working for me"

"So you move out..." Madelyn says "When?"

"I don't know...soon" April says

"Okay" Madelyn says softly "Okay, we'll figure it out"

"Thank you, for everything" April says wrapping her arms around Madelyn's side

Madelyn uses her free arm to hold April close "Of course"