It's always been you, April Kepner

everything's different

going, going, gone
season 9 ep 1

🎵Never Felt So Alone-Labrinth🎵

"And i've never felt so alone, felt so alone"

~~~~~

Alexandra Caroline Grey, truly was the first person Madelyn felt at home with. No one and nothing could ever replace Lexies place in her heart. It will always belong to her.

Yes, Hopkins is the dream. But Seattle is her home, was her home...but for some reason, she stayed. Madelyn felt
like she didn't deserve to chase her dreams. She felt it was unfair she got to live, maybe that has a lot to do with the fact that and honestly right now she wished she wasn't, excursus pain was an understatement as to what Madelyn felt if she stood up for too long, or if she positioned her body in a way that if anyone else did it wouldn't cause them a problem.

But toady wasn't about her. Today was about Mark Sloan. 5.00 tonight, and he's gone forever.

Madelyn has truly tried her hardest to help Callie out by looking after Sofia as much as she can, but it's hard to keep up with little humans when all they do is run and run.

She feels bad for Callie, Arizona hasn't exactly been herself since, you know. She blames Callie. Madelyn i death da Arizonas pain just as much as she understands Callie's pain.

But again, toady is about Mark.

-

Flashback-1994

A 12 year old Madelyn couldn't think of a better way to spend her day, well Dereks wedding day, than annoying him and Mark

She takes out her camera, hiding behind the door and films the two men

"You are a terrible best man" Derek says

Mark shrugs "Addison's great, but one woman for the rest of your life? It's not what God intended. Especially for men who look like us. God intended for us many, many women, a staggering number of women"

"I just hope you didn't forget the rings" Derek says

"Derek ... you're lucky to have me. You will never, ever find another friend as good as me, ever" Mark says

"Ew" Madelyn says pulling a face of disgust at Marks speech

Both men turn to look at where the sound came from "Hey, are you filming this?" Mark says walking towards Madelyn who quickly stops filming trying her best not to laugh at Marks red face

~~~~~

Madelyn is eating her lunch with Meredith, Alex, and Jackson in the cafeteria

"You really doing the intern appy?" Alex asks

"Jealous?" Mer says

"He's too busy just doing the interns. Are you gonna say good-bye to your fan club before you leave?" Jackson says

"I've been saying good-bye all day" Alex smirks

"Gross" Madelyn finally says

"They're gonna be sad to see me go. You may have to step up, Shepherd. Comfort them a little"